Fix a marriage that is starting to feel bland through these 4 tips

It is not easy to maintain the fire of romance and intimacy when you have been married for a long time. For some couples, the pile of work stress coupled with the fatigue of taking care of everyday children can make a marriage feel bland. Calm down first. You don't have to go directly to counseling with a household specialist or a psychologist to fix a marriage that feels bland. You can do these simple ways with your partner so that your household can return to intimacy, harmony, and warmth.

How to fix a marriage that feels bland

1. Be nice to your partner

The first tip that you can do and should not be underestimated is to be nice to your partner. This is especially important if you are determined to make your marriage work.

Maybe in recent years, whether you realize it or not, your attitude when treating your partner is no longer the same after marriage.

For example, you no longer call him "dear", or never say the word "please and thank you" when asking your partner for help. These changes are natural because you may be very accustomed to him in your life.

According to Sydney Ceruto, Ph, D, a neuropsychologist in New York, being intimate with your partner will make you feel more loved yourself too. Ceruto suggests that the two of you remain kind and affectionate to each other even when you are fighting, or even when your partner doesn't reciprocate your kindness.

Ceturo argues, continuing to be kind and showing your affection for your partner can help warm and increase intimacy between the two of you.

2. Make time for sex

Repairing your marriage implies improving your sex routine together. Having sex is not just an outlet for lust and passion. According to Joel D. Block, PhD, a relationship therapist, having sex is one of the fastest ways to increase intimacy in the household.

You and your partner can try to schedule sex within a week. Agree on the days that you both think are the most ideal and plan the details towards the expected time. It can be started with a date together to watch a movie, have dinner together, then close with sex.

If necessary, you can entrust the children to your parents-in-law's house and take 1-2 days of leave before the weekend for a vacation together and rekindle the fire of love between you and your partner.

3. Try something new

Sometimes marriage feels boring because it's stuck doing the same thing. In fact, daring to try something new can help fix a marriage that seems stagnant and bland.

For example, if your husband is the type of person who likes activities in nature such as hiking, gardening, or camping, but before marriage you happened to never try it.

From here, you can try to do things your partner likes. Feel it for the first time, then tell how nice it is to do things together. Vice versa. The wife can invite her husband to pamper himself in the salon for just a massage afterwards hiking .

In essence, you should try to enter a world that your partner likes and never does. If you appreciate what they like, then they will also want to and try your personal passion. Who knows, you might catch a new hobby?

4. Do not confuse household problems with other matters

One of the reasons for the separation of the marriage is because one or both partners bring problems from the outside into the wedding room.

Separating personal matters from household matters is very important to fix a marriage that is starting to feel bland.

For example, suppose you are involved in a lot of projects at the office so it becomes stressful at home. This should be avoided to be discussed and fussed over with your partner. Problems in the office should not be brought home.

Likewise with household problems, don't bring it to the office to distract you from work. You have to create boundaries between your work and personal world so that the two sides can balance without disturbing each other.

If there is a problem at the office, you are still able and legitimate to tell it to your partner. However, your attitude towards your partner must remain intimate, do not change. If you need time to complete other matters outside of marriage, ask for time, understanding, and explain well to your partner.