Why are so many people willing to change for the sake of a partner?

When in love, it feels like the world belongs only to the two of us. Therefore pleasing your partner is often the top priority, including being willing to change yourself to be what your lover asks for. Changing your appearance or attitude is fine but it's best not because of your partner. The reason is, what your partner asks for is not necessarily the best for you. So, why are many people willing to change for the sake of a partner?

Why do so many people change for the sake of partners?

Compared to men, Rebekah Montgomery, PhD, a relationship psychologist in Washington DC, states that women are more likely to change themselves for the sake of their partner.

Rebekah said, women usually feel more responsible when undergoing relationships. This then makes him feel the need to adapt to his partner or be more flexible.

The desire to be a good boyfriend or wife makes him try to change himself to be accepted and loved. Even though maybe you are not comfortable with this change yourself, According to Eli Finkel, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Northwestern University, Chicago, everyone in our lives has its own influence. Well, a partner is one of the people who has a very strong influence in a person's life. This influence can be both good and bad, depending on your partner.

When someone tries to change for the sake of their partner, they may want to approach the ideal person their partner hopes for. In this way, it is hoped that her partner will continue to love her and not turn to other people.

Feeling insecure this kind of thing then makes a person willing to change himself into whatever his partner expects.

Reporting from the Doquesne University page, this condition is called the Pygmalion effect. Obviously, the Pygmalion effect is when a person tries to act according to what others expect, with the expectation that this other person will do the same. In this case, it means that you turn out to be what your partner expected.

What to do if your partner keeps asking to change?

Loving your partner is fine, but don't forget to love yourself. Loving yourself can be done by not doing anything that goes against your heart. One of them doesn't change just for the sake of your partner and you don't want to.

For example, your partner often says that you need a diet because you are too fat. Out of curiosity you calculated your body mass index on the BMI calculator. It turns out that the results show that your weight is still in the normal category, not obesity.

This means that maybe your partner does have high standards in seeing the partner's body. It could be that he really wants to have a girlfriend or wife with a supermodel body.

If you really object to a diet as requested by your partner, try to talk to him nicely. Say all your heart about the requests of a partner that burdens you.

If your partner really appreciates you, he will certainly understand and apologize for his attitude so far. But if he is offended and angry, it's good to rethink the continuation of the relationship between you and your partner.

Even if you do want to change, change for yourself, not for the sake of your partner. The reason is, what is ideal according to your partner is not necessarily good for you and the relationship in the future.