3 things you should ask when you start having doubts about him

When you and your partner have been in a relationship long enough, there will be times when you start to doubt your relationship. Whether it's doubting the sincerity of the partner, or hesitating about which direction this relationship will take. It's natural to occasionally hesitate with your partner, even if you believe you really love him / her.

However, that does not mean that these doubts should be allowed to eat away at your mind. The internal doubts, fears, and insecurities can actually threaten the harmony of your relationship. Even according to Gail Grace, LCSW., An American household therapist, these doubts can also damage your personal life. Before discussing it frankly with your partner, it's good to first ask yourself these three things.

When you begin to feel doubt about your partner, ask yourself this first

Maybe right now you are in doubt with your partner and are sure that something is really wrong in your relationship, even though you don't know the exact reason yourself. However, try to take a little time to reflect.

1. Is the anxiety focused solely on your current relationship, or is it from some other source?

If you have never felt this much in anxiety in your previous relationships, find out why your current relationship is causing this. Perhaps you feel that your current partner's attitude is not that serious or unbelievable. It is also possible that anxiety and worry arises because your relationship is still the same age, so it takes more time to get to know each other better inside and out.

However, if these doubts and worries persist even since the past relationship, then maybe the problem is with you. For example, suppose you are the type of person that others want to nurture or care for. Now, when your partner is an ignorant person, it is not impossible for you to feel doubtful and insecure during the relationship because you feel unnoticed.

Or maybe the opposite: You are the person who tends to dominate relationships and feels that your current partner is more difficult to control than your previous partner. This "rebellious" partner makes you feel doubtful and anxious about your position in the relationship.

Once you understand the source of your anxiety, you will be better equipped to deal with the problem. Explain how you feel about the doubt in order to mutually compromise to find a better solution.

2. How do you feel about your partner?

Try asking yourself: how do you feel when you are around your partner, and what kind of person do you think your partner is? For example, do you like the way he treats you, or do you feel comfortable every time you chat with him, or do you feel something strange when he sees him hanging out in everyday life.

If your answer to both of them contains a negative impression, ask yourself again: is that really what you really feel, or just blinded by emotion for a moment? Try to be really objective in thinking about the answer.

If you have found the answer, then ask yourself whether you can accept a partner with all the strengths and weaknesses he has. Consider carefully whether the things that have been bothering you and causing your doubts can still be resolved or is it the other way around?

3. Do you and your partner express love in different ways?

Everyone has their own way of expressing their love for their partner. Even so, this could invite doubts.

For example, you show your love by regularly sending the message "I love you" every morning before leaving for work and before going to bed at night. Meanwhile, your partner just expresses his love through subtle actions (which you may sometimes miss) without saying a word. When you send the message, of course you expect a similar reply but your partner thinks it is too crap, so maybe the reply is just a formality "U too" or even not reply at all.

This can foster doubts in yourself about the sincerity of your partner. "He doesn't love me, hmm ? " which can end up in a heated argument - but you don't have to. Different love languages ​​don't matter. You just need to understand that each person has their own special way of expressing love. Everything is back to you whether you can accept it or not.

When you succeed in finding out what causes you to feel doubtful about your partner, you can consider what steps you will take: Whether to continue with making changes (both for yourself, your partner, and the relationship) or just end it with all the careful consideration that has been The two of you discuss.