The right way to deal with fussy children in public places

When you have a screaming cranky child at home, you can move him to another room and ignore his tantrums until it subsides on its own. But it is a different story if your child suddenly throws a tantrum when you are outside the house.

Being the center of attention when dealing with a fussy child in public is not a pleasant experience for every parent. People often judge fussy children as a sign of failure in parenting. In fact, fuss and tantrums are a natural part of child development.

But this doesn't mean you just let your little one keep screaming in public. Using the methods below, you can face a cranky child in a crowd like a pro.

How do you deal with a fussy child in public?

1. Parents do not get angry

It's not always easy to stay calm and not get carried away with emotions when dealing with fussy children. But scolding your little one will only make his emotions worse. What's more, if you give punishment for his "naughtiness". He will start to keep anger and frustration inside of him. Of course this is not healthy for him, both physically and mentally. Therefore, take a moment to calm down to prevent the situation from heating up.

Observe what causes the child to be fussy. Children usually throw tantrums when they are tired, sleepy, or feel uncomfortable. Observe what is the real cause, and solve the problem.

For example, if you think your tantrum is caused by hunger, tell your child that they can snack on them when they calm down. But speak with a soft voice and expression that remains calm even though your child is still screaming. If you yell at him or scold him back, it can make him even more cranky.

2. Talk privately with the child

If your child's tantrum comes from frustration, help your child learn to regulate their emotions by giving them the skills to maintain self-control when they are angry.

In an interview with Parenting, child behavior expert William Sears reminded parents that whining is part of a child's learning process to learn what kinds of speech lead to their needs and which are not.

Sears added, it is enough to tell your little one to tell the truth about what is bothering him. For example, “Mama knows you're angry because it's time to go home. But mom is tired, and you must be tired too, right? " or "I know you want the toy and you're angry, right, at dad for not buying you?"

Clear and straightforward speech when talking to children will represent their feelings that they find it difficult to express. Reacting calmly like this will show your child that if they can control their emotions and use words rather than tears, you can work on this problem together.

3. Count to ten

Counting will warn your child that his behavior is unacceptable without requiring you to nag him. Plus, the time spent counting can shift your little one's focus from whining to other activities, such as playing with other toys or watching TV fun.

In addition, counting slowly from 1 to 10 gives you and your little one a "break time" to empty your mind and calm down a little. When the whining of a child starts to make your blood boil, counting you can pause before it really explodes to think about how to respond to a fussy child in that situation.

4. Invite the child to take deep breaths

Like adults, stress can also make young children feel uncomfortable with their own bodies and their surroundings. But he can learn to fight the feeling by taking a few deep breaths. Other times the child is calm, teach the child to take a strong breath and exhale as if pretending to blow out a birthday cake candle; Then, when you see him getting cranky, you can use a simple code like "blow the candle let's" to remind him to breathe for a moment.

You can also rely on this deep breathing technique to calm yourself down when dealing with a fussy child.

5. Just leave it

During tantrums, toddlers cannot think clearly. His emotions will take over him. They cannot, and do not know how, to handle these emotional outbursts. Anger "colonizes" the child's frontal cortex, the area of ​​decision-making and judgment. Therefore, persuading will not bring results, let alone force or scold, because the part of his brain that is responsible for regulating common sense is not working.

If your child is fussing non-stop while you are outside or in a crowd, don't give any reaction. Do not give positive or negative reactions, not even the eyes. You can tell the next door that your child needs his parents, excuse me, and say goodbye. Leave the room, find a quiet place, go to the car, or hurry home. Remember, the purpose of your child whining without cause is simply to get your attention. So, don't easily submit to children's tantrums.

Meanwhile, you can play your cellphone, read a book, or take a break. When he is tired of whining, then you talk to advise him or continue shopping. It's not that you are a bad parent to ignore a child in tantrums. Crying and whining during tantrums actually helps children to vent their emotions in a non-destructive way. They can grunt, heal themselves, and regain self-control, all on their own without getting involved in screaming fights with you.

6. Give gifts

When successful children learn to control their behavior, rewarding is a great response. You can use the “Good Boy's Jar” and put a marble in the jar when they manage to keep their tantrums at bay, by promising that when the jar is filled with 10 marbles he can watch his favorite movie in the cinema or play for 1 hour in the children's play area. This way, the next time your child throws a tantrum, he will remember the "reward" and think a thousand times before his anger actually explodes.

The key is not to over-reward children. One-on-one, this system can turn into a weapon for you to eat.

7. Hug

When you see your child throw a tantrum, maybe a hug is the last thing you can think of. A hug can make your child feel safe and know that you care, even if you disagree with his behavior. But, not just any hug. Give your little one a firm hug, not a sweet hug to lull you, and don't say anything while you hold your little one until the whining subsides.

7. Don't apologize

When dealing with a cranky child in public, as a parent you may feel obliged to apologize to the "audience". Sears warns that apologizing on behalf of your child can be a big mistake. Fussy is a child's choice of behavior, so children need to be responsible for apologizing for their own behavior. Whether they are making a personal apology, or writing an apology letter, children need to be aware of the behavior that caused their anger.

As long as you deal with fussy children consistently effectively at home - that is, by ignoring them and not giving up - they will eventually be able to control themselves when the two of you travel.

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