After breaking up with a boyfriend, these 3 things might haunt the mind

For those of you who have experienced a breakup, you will know exactly what it feels like. Sad, disappointed, it doesn't even feel excited to do anything other than stay in the room. However, why is breaking up with a boyfriend so stressful for someone? Doesn't a breakup mean that you have been freed from a partner who really doesn't suit you? Well, consider the psychological considerations and explanations below.

Why is breaking up with your boyfriend painful?

After breaking up with their boyfriends, many people have locked themselves in their rooms for days doing nothing but crying and lamenting their fate. It turns out that there are several causes that make a person feel quite sad and stressed after a breakup, namely:

1. Already feel dependent

Because of the long time they have been in love, many people feel dependent on their partners. Dependency here means that a person is used to doing everything with the help or presence of a partner. According to Gregory L. Jantz Ph.D., a book author and mental health expert in Washington, United States, one of the characteristics of an addicted person is that they cannot make the slightest decision without asking the opinion of others, including their ex-lover.

As a result, many people lose their grip when they break up with a partner. No longer know where to go and how. The only thing you think about is, "If you want to tell me and who will you ask for advice?", " Not anyone else can pick me up, ", or," Not nothing else will chat every day."

This is what then makes most people feel stressed and hopeless. In the end, you just isolate yourself and mourn your sadness every day. You think that your partner is a part of your everyday life that feels strange and empty when it doesn't exist.

2. Blaming yourself

When they break up with their boyfriends, many people feel their self-esteem collapsing. For example, because they feel they are not worthy enough that their partner chooses to separate. As a result, you keep beating yourself up by thinking, “Just try it if I used to not too busy working, ”and such.

So instead of trying move on, Instead, you continue to be trapped in these negative thoughts. You always see that this is all happening because you don't deserve to be someone else's lover.

In fact, it is impossible that the fault is only in your hands. There must also be a partner's fault that the relationship has to end. It's just that because the disappointment, sadness, and regret is so deep, you end up getting caught up in these negative thoughts.

However, be aware that the wounds of a breakup will not go away if you continue to beat yourself up. This can actually make you feel inferior and close yourself off to other people. As difficult as it may be, you have to accept that breaking up with your boyfriend is the best way right now. It's not that you don't deserve it, it's just that you just don't get along with your ex.

3. Lazy to start a relationship from scratch

Dating is a process of getting to know each other. This process is certainly not always smooth. There are many twists and turns that must have been passed with your partner. When they break up, many people feel that they have put in all their best efforts plus a lot of sacrifices. Not only time is sacrificed, but also material and feelings.

Therefore, many people feel lazy to build everything from scratch. Never mind rebuilding, even leaving the room feels reluctant. As a result, you continue to be trapped in sadness that drags on.

If this happens to you, try to fight back. Don't want to be defeated by the sadness that keeps shackling. You have to start to get up and rebuild a new, happier life. The steps are also quite easy, for example with confide to people closest to you, exercise to relieve stress, or write down all your feelings and emotions in a diary.