Avoid saying these 5 sentences to those who are grieving

Just like someone who has just achieved success and has gained a lot of congratulations, people who are grieving too. The difference is, those who are shrouded in sadness need a lot of encouragement, enthusiasm, and motivation to reduce their sadness. But remember, not all of the positive words you say are appropriate for the condition of grieving. So, what are some words that should not be said to someone who is grieving?

Don't say these words when people are grieving

The sadness of being left behind by a loved one is not easy to pass. However, anyone must be prepared for these conditions whenever they occur. Robert Zucker, a counselor and author of the book The Journey Through Grief and Loss: Helping Yourself and Your Child When Grief Is Shared , said that sadness is a normal response when things go against our expectations.

You as the closest person whose job is to comfort a friend, relative, or family member who is grieving, must be clever in choosing the words that can and cannot be said to that person. Some of the following sentences that you should avoid saying to those who are grieving:

1. "Over time you will get used to it"

According to Elizabeth Lombardo, PhD, a psychologist in Chicago, that most people will probably try to show kindness and care to people who are in a state of chaos, but not infrequently what you say can actually cloud their feelings.

One of them is by saying they will get used to this loss very soon. This greeting is meant to encourage the person, but for now their mind may still be filled with the departure of a loved one.

How much better, you replace it by saying "I may not really understand how you feel, but try to stay up". Then let them do what makes them feel more relieved, perhaps by pondering or crying until they feel better.

2. "Why did it get to be like this?"

It is natural to question what happened behind these events, this includes human nature. However, have you ever thought how many tens of people were mourning? If everyone asked this question, how would the person who is grieving feel?

That is why, avoid asking this question to those who are saddened by their deceased, because they may hate having to remember again and again the cause of death of their closest person.

Instead, just stay by his side until he calms down. If you want, he will pour out his heart at that time to you.

3. "What can I do for you?"

There is nothing wrong with offering help to someone who is at a loss, but they will likely just shake their heads as a sign of needing nothing.

Instead of having to ask questions and get uncertain answers, do what you can. Whether it's accompanying him throughout the day or helping out on the day of a loved one's funeral, according to Kenneth J. Doka, PhD, a consultant at the Hospice Foundation of America.

In essence, do your best without offending the grieving person.

4. "He's in a better place"

The goal may be good, namely to encourage and calm the feelings of those who are shrouded in sadness. Even so, not everyone who is sad can accept this statement. On the other hand, all they want then may be their loved one by their side now, not in a “better place”.

Again, it's best to just accompany them until they are completely calm or let them take some time alone to try to let a loved one go.

5. "I understand how you feel"

Avoid saying this sentence if you have never been in that person's position. Because of course, you must not really understand what kind of deep sadness he was feeling.

Even if you have experienced things that are not much different, don't assume that you do know exactly how they feel. Everyone has different ways of grieving. The response that you and they take when a loved one leaves you may not be the same.

On the other hand, it is also important not to compare the sadness you have experienced. However, you can still provide them with psychological support.