Don't get it wrong, first understand the difference between love and obsession & bull; hello healthy

Love is one of the happiest feelings. When you start a new relationship with someone, you definitely feel like you want to see each other every day, smile when opening text messages from your partner, and can't stop thinking about them. However, if left for too long and uncontrolled, love has the potential to turn into an unhealthy obsession that threatens relationships. Then, how do you know if what you feel is love or an obsession?

Are you feeling in love or just an unhealthy obsession?

Reporting from MedicineNet, the euphoria of falling in love is normal in the early months of any relationship.

Thinking about your partner constantly and always wanting to meet up is a natural feeling at the beginning of dating. Over time, healthy love should develop into a relationship that values ​​each partner.

However, if several months have passed and you still think about your partner too often, even to the point where your whole life is focused on them, that could be a sign of an obsession.

Here are a few statements that can help you differentiate between love or obsession:

1. Love makes the heart calm, obsession makes you restless

When you've been in a relationship with someone long enough, you should feel calmer and trust each other.

Healthy love will give you peace. You believe that your partner still loves you even though you don't have to communicate all day long. You will understand that the two of you are busy each other.

However, when obsession takes over, you will always feel restless and dependent. You find it difficult if you don't do an activity with your partner, you don't reply to your short message for five minutes, or you keep thinking about what your partner says and does to you.

In other words, love or obsession can be distinguished from the degree to which you feel physically and emotionally dependent on your partner.

2. Love gives freedom, while obsession is restrictive

Focusing too much on your partner in the early days of dating isn't necessarily a sign of being obsessive, but you still have to be careful.

According to Robert Vallerand, a psychologist in his book, entitled The Psychology of Passion: A Dualistic Model , when someone loves you, it means he trusts you wholeheartedly.

True love will always expect the best things to come in the partner's life. This includes providing your own space if your partner needs it.

Obsession is different. People who are obsessed with their partners will always be haunted by feelings of uneasiness, even blind jealousy.

When you are obsessed, you tend to become possessive and over control of your partner's life. You may even arrange with whom your partner interacts with, ask your partner to contact you as often as possible, even in some cases, there are people asking for access to their partner's social media accounts.

This is because you have an irrational fear of losing your partner. If you feel these signs, it's time to question whether what you feel is love or obsession.

3. Love makes you flourish, obsession doesn't

In a healthy love relationship, you and your partner tend to develop in a positive direction, both in terms of self-development and the direction of the relationship.

You will not find this in obsession. Vallerand adds that an unhealthy obsession keeps you from being open to the development of your partner's life. It's hard for you to see that your partner should have a life of their own.

Other signs that you need to pay attention to are how you and your partner can stay focused and support each other's activities or hobbies.

If you feel too dependent on your partner so that your work or hobbies interfere, or you limit your partner's activities outside of your relationship, it could be that your love has turned into an obsession.

4. Love is concerned with the needs of both, obsession only sees personal interests

When you are obsessed, you may not realize that everything you do for your partner and relationship is just to satisfy your desires and ego.

In an obsession, you tend to forget the most important aspect that love should be based on mutual understanding and respect for both parties.

If you feel that you don't understand what your partner really needs, it's time to evaluate whether the feelings you have are true love or obsession.