Why are some people so afraid of being single? & bull; hello healthy

Bear status single is a very sad thing for some Indonesians. Jomblowan and jomblowati always considered miserable, lonely, and unhappy because they don't have a boyfriend. Various negative stamps attached to the status single then unconsciously so instilled unreasonable fear in many people. Whether love or not, the most important thing is to have a boyfriend and not to be single. Experts call the phenomenon "fear of being single" with the term singlism .

Cause people are afraid to be single

The term "singles" to describe people who do not have a life partner has actually been around since 1993.

However, a shift in meaning that becomes negative may only be "popularized" in the 2000s. Those with status single it is often used as a joke because it is considered "unsold on the market".

The phenomenon of singlism, aka the “syndrome” of fear of being single itself, has been studied by Spielmann et al. In 2013, and has been published in Journal of Personality and Social Psychology .

In the study, single fear syndrome was defined as "feelings of worry, anxiety, and difficulty living life without a partner."

This feeling can be experienced by anyone, including people who are not currently in a boyfriend, have never had a partner, or are in a romantic relationship.

In people who already have a partner, syndrome singlism can make her continue to worry that her relationship will fail. This worry then makes the person willing to stay in the relationship, even if it turns out toxic and not feeling happy.

When his relationship was forced to run aground, he prefers to lower his standards rather than having to live alone single .

Fear of being single may be a sign of anuptaphobia

In people who are very unwilling and afraid to be single Their irrational fear can indicate a specific phobic condition called anuptaphobia. This phobia is often seen as the opposite of gamophobia, aka the fear of marriage.

Excessive fear and unexplained anxiety are the main characteristics of phobias. So, what is the cause?

A major contributing factor to anuptaphobia is a fear of loneliness which may be triggered by traumatic experiences in the past.

Physical, emotional, and psychological trauma in the past can make a person build a personal belief that happiness can only be achieved when you have a partner. This causes anuptaphobia sufferers to continue to think about love, marriage, and the future with their partner.

This factor is what ultimately makes a person feel incomplete without a partner and afraid to be single .

Singles are not as scary as imagined

The fear of being single can lead to the habit of forming and maintaining unhealthy, let alone happy, relationships.

This is because people who are afraid of being single will be more concerned with their love status than in their current relationship.

In fact, being a person single alias single not as bad as it had been thought. There are many positive things you can get from living alone without a partner. One of them is more time to socialize with people around, especially parents, family, and friends.

Living without a boyfriend also opens up more opportunities for you to learn to know your potential, love yourself, and have enough time to have fun.

How to overcome the fear of being single

If you start to feel afraid and anxious about being single for no apparent reason, try to divert negative feelings and thoughts by engaging in positive activities that can improve your life. mood .

It's okay to live your own life while continuing to look for the best soulmate without being pressed for time. Remind yourself that you can still be happy even if you don't have a boyfriend.

Finding happiness is a responsibility yourself, not burdened on others. You must achieve happiness on your own. Other people are not responsible for making you happy.

If your anxiety starts to interfere with your activities, it's best to talk to a psychologist or psychiatrist right away for help.