Often fight with your partner, is it natural or not? & bull; hello healthy

In undergoing a relationship, of course you will feel joy and sorrow. One of the sorrows that you may feel is often fighting with your partner. However, the quarrels that occurred were not taboo, but normal. However, is this still reasonable if you do it frequently?

Fighting with a partner, is not always a sign of a bad relationship

Even though you are in a romantic relationship with your partner, it does not mean that you are both free from arguing or arguing. Maybe you and your partner actually disagree quite often, leading to an argument.

For example, you and your partner often fight because of different opinions when choosing where to eat, different opinions about the room temperature in the room before bed, or about the light while sleeping. To solve the problem so you don't fight with your partner often, you and your partner may have to compromise on the issue.

However, that does not necessarily indicate that the relationship you are in is a bad relationship. This is because, in a relationship, showing the feelings you feel and responding to the feelings shown by your partner has an important role in the success of the relationship itself.

You don't want your feelings to go unnoticed by your partner, especially if they are related to your partner. In addition, it is important to know each other's feelings. That way, you and your partner will find it much easier to understand what is expected of one another.

According to an article published in Psychology Today, in a love relationship, often fighting with a partner who can be resolved together with a compromise can be a bridge to help you keep the relationship lasting.

Often quarreling with a partner is not always bad, as long as…

Fighting is not always a sign that you are in a bad relationship. However, you should know that there are certain factors that make the argument between you and your partner still considered normal.

1. Accept conflict

Often times, a conflict usually triggers you to fight with your partner. Conflicts arise because of differences and that is normal, even including things that are considered healthy in a relationship. Therefore, instead of avoiding it and leaving it unresolved, you must face this conflict together.

2. Face the problem, not the partner

Frequent quarrels with your partner can also be caused by problems, both from outside and from within yourself. In order to solve it, what has to be "fought" is the problem.

This problem can be in the form of bad habits or traits. Even so, that doesn't mean you or your partner are "attacking" each other. Instead, you and your partner help each other "fight" these bad habits or traits.

3. Listen carefully

When you are fighting, of course there are times when your partner expresses feelings of sadness, anger, or irritation. To fix this, listen carefully to what he said. You may still feel upset with your partner, but by listening well, you mean trying to understand and accept his feelings.

You can certainly share your feelings even though you often fight with your partner. However, make sure you also give him space to express what he feels. Hopefully, you and your partner listen to each other's feelings. That way, you and your partner will find it easier to find middle ground to solve problems with solutions that can be mutually accepted.

4. Speak softly

You can feel upset, angry, or sad about your partner. However, that doesn't mean you can get out of control even though you often fight with your partner. Try to speak in a low voice. Even if your partner speaks in a harsh tone, don't fall for it.

Yelling at each other will not solve the problem, it will only add to existing problems. By speaking calmly, you can focus more on solving problems than on making things worse.

5. Discuss the problem in more detail

When fighting with your partner, instead of defending yourself, first ask your partner what things make him upset and angry. If your partner uses words that are too general without specifying what happened, try asking him to provide real-world examples.

The reason is, by asking for a real example, you can understand in more detail about the things that are being questioned by your partner. Do the same if you want to convey something to him, so that the partner also understands in more detail about what is being discussed.

6. Find a solution

Rather than lengthening the problem by bringing up past mistakes, focus on solutions. Frequent quarrels indicate something is wrong with your partner. That's what you have to solve.

Try to find a way out, either making a mutual agreement, or providing other options for solutions that may be easier for your partner to accept. Finding a way out when you're upset may not be easy. However, try to always remember that these solutions can save your relationship with your partner.

7. Make peace

It's okay to fight with your partner, but don't forget to make peace. Make rules that your partner can agree on, such as making peace before going to bed. If it takes time and takes hours of sleep to make it happen, do it until the problem is completely resolved before going to bed.

Maybe by making a certain agreement, you and your partner will get used to always finding solutions to every problem together rather than adding to the "spice" of the problem so that the condition gets worse.

If you can still do the above factors when fighting with your partner, the argument that occurs is still a normal and healthy thing in the relationship that is being lived.