The important reason is not to force the will on the child

The reason is not to force the will on the child

Every parent has hope in their children. Sometimes, that hope is in the form of matters of education, work, a mate to a place to live. At first glance, this hope seems to be part of children's education so that they can live a better life in the future. However, there are times when that desire leads to coercion.

Parents' bitter experiences when they were young, could be the main factor for imposing their will on children. Parents do not want their children to repeat their mistakes and always hope their children live a better life.

There is nothing wrong with that desire. As long as the child agrees and is ready to live the life suggested by the parents. But if not, then parents must give freedom.

For example, in terms of school lessons. There are parents who demand that their children get the best grades so that they become the pride of the parents. Unfortunately, the way parents go is by forcing them to learn on and on. In fact, this is actually a burden for the child.

When children feel that learning is a burden, it is difficult for them to develop. Learning is an unpleasant process.

Parents' expectations and children's fears

Launching the Psychology Today page, the expectations conveyed to children build walls under their conscious awareness. The wall limits their forward thoughts to explore their natural abilities.

Children are born on their own terms and all they can do as they develop is to maximize their strengths. There are times when a child's abilities do not meet parents' expectations.

Parents' teachings with standards that are right for them, can put pressure on the child. So they have a view that is not broad and depends on parental orders.

This can cause fear to arise in children. For example, parents say "if you don't follow what mom or dad said in this way, you will definitely fail" or "don't let your grades get bad, just mom and dad expect you to be a smart kid".

This kind of pressure makes children afraid to do something they want to do. Some will go through what their parents want, some may rebel to go their own way.

It is important not to force the will on children, give them the opportunity to find ways to achieve their goals,

Understand the desire, don't force the will on the child

Children have different thoughts based on the experiences and information they receive. As long as the desire is positive, don't force your will on the child. Invite children to discuss and communicate about what they want. Know what goals they want and how they want to get there.

Parents of course can give constructive criticism so that children remain enthusiastic about fighting what they want. Even if you don't think so, try to understand and avoid criticism that makes you cornered.

Believe that the child is ready to be responsible for what he chooses. After knowing the child's vision, try to be his friend. Give your child insight and motivation so that he can achieve what he wants.

For example, it turns out that your child really likes music and wants to become a singer. You can provide references to singers who started their careers with struggles. Then give confidence to the child that he can.

During that time, he perseveres, develops, and trains his self-confidence, undoubtedly the child will be able to achieve his goals in his own way. Although it is difficult for parents to accept children who choose another path, understand that children will do their best and can learn more from the basic abilities they have.

Therefore, communication is an important key between parents and children to better understand each other. Don't force your will on children anymore, let them develop and explore their experiences in the next life.