Cheaters can change or not? this is the psychological explanation

Because infidelity has become a common disaster, you may know or even have been a victim of cheating. When you want to fix a relationship with a partner who has betrayed you several times, you may wonder if the real cheater can change and improve.

The answer depends, it all comes back to the individual. However, there are psychological explanations and various factors that influence the self-change of those who cheat.

The cause of someone to be cheating

For those who have been cheated on several times by the same person - or maybe you have a hobby of cheating yourself - you need to understand that apologies or regret alone cannot guarantee that the person will not cheat again.

The reason is, cheating when viewed from a psychological point of view is a complicated behavior based on multiple reasons. Getting caught by a partner alone will not make him give up. What is there is he is even more adept at covering up his actions. For that, you need to understand further what is on the mind of the cheater. Here are some of the reasons someone has to cheat.

1. Intimidated by your partner

According to a clinical psychologist and member of the American Psychological Association, Linda Hatch, Ph.D., you may be cheating because you feel intimidated by your partner. Suppose your partner is near perfect or much more successful than you. Over time, you feel inferior and end up looking for someone else who can make you feel better. This is why people sometimes cheat with someone who doesn't seem any better than their partner.

2. Feeling something is missing

There are also common reasons for cheating. That is feeling that something is missing from a partner. For example, you think your partner only loves you because of your wealth. You also look for other people who can appreciate other sides of yourself, such as your humorous nature.

In fact, it is not certain that your views and estimates about your partner are correct. Your partner may fully appreciate you, but you don't realize it. So that doesn't mean you are never satisfied. In fact, people who have a hobby of cheating are usually not confident in themselves.

3. Sex maniacs

Many people who regularly cheat are also sex maniacs. So cheating here is a symptom of a serious disorder, namely maniacs. Such people cannot control their sexual desire and drive, even though they already have a partner. So even if he has been caught cheating, a sex maniac will still cheat again the next time.

Can people who cheat be able to change and stop their habits?

Cheaters can change and break the habit. However, you do need the right approach and method to completely eradicate cheating inclinations. Just feeling sorry for the partner you hurt doesn't work to prevent you from cheating in the future. This is why people who cheat are hard to change.

To change, you have to know the root of the problem in yourself, not in your partner. Cheating is your own choice, there's nothing your partner can do to control your behavior. So as long as you don't really understand the reasons for cheating, it's almost impossible to change.

How to change and stop cheating

Summarized from the explanation of a clinical and counseling psychologist Jay Kent-Ferraro, Ph.D., what should be the focus is not whether cheaters can change. But what are the factors that make you betray your partner and why is cheating? By answering this question, you are just taking the first steps towards change.

As an illustration, you know that you feel inferior to your partner. By knowing these reasons, you can overcome your insecurity. For example, through more honest communication with your partner or develop yourself so that you become more confident. That way, the desire to have an affair fades.

It's not easy to understand why you or your partner are cheating on you. You need sensitivity and self-understanding that is deep enough. For that, you can do psychological counseling with a therapist. The therapist will help you analyze your thought patterns and ways to avoid getting caught up in the affair again. Without the help of a professional psychologist, it is very difficult for a cheater to change and end bad habits.