Having sex for the first time: 5 things to consider

Having sex can be an enjoyable and very satisfying experience, but it can be scary if you are not really sure what to do. Before deciding to have sex for the first time, there are a number of things that you should carefully consider first.

How do you know when you are ready to have sex for the first time?

Only you can know the answer to that question. Deciding when to have sex for the first time is a big deal, and it can be a tough one. Do not have sex if you are under pressure from your partner or are simply influenced by peers who have already had sex. Only you are the only one who can and must decide whether you are really ready or not and when to have sex is most appropriate for yourself.

We usually make better decisions when we weigh and judge all the pros and cons. A great sex experience is a sexual relationship that conforms to all the principles of life that you hold dear, including: values ​​and morals, the ultimate goal of education or career continuity, the emotional and physical risks you dare to endure, what sex you really want to have, relationships what you would like to have with your sex partner (boyfriend, husband, friends, one night love, etc.) and vice versa, whether your decision will be supported by friends and family and close relatives, and whether you feel comfortable committing to your decision.

On the other hand, having sex for the first time can be risky for your body - sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies are no joke. Therefore, don't be afraid to say "no" if that's how you feel. And just because you've had sex before, even with the same person, doesn't mean you have to do it again.

Is your reason for having sex just right?

Again, think carefully about the reasons behind your desire to have sex for the first time. Do you want to have sex because you feel emotionally and physically ready, and your partner is someone you love and trust? Or, your reasons are based more on peer pressure, the need to fit in with your relationships, make your partner happy, or the belief that sex is the only way to get better or closer with your partner?

Even if it seems like all your friends your age have had sex, that probably isn't true. Don't let what your friends think are influencing such important decisions. Look again at your own reasons. You may not be ready if the reasons you want to have sex are one or more of these:

• I am the only “virgin” in my group of friends
• My boyfriend will threaten / injure / dump me if I refuse to have sex with him
• Having sex will make me more popular
• I feel more mature when I have sex

It can be helpful to discuss your desires with someone you trust - your parents, friends, health care providers, or other people who care about you.

Are you able to be honest and open about what you really want?

The best way to make the decision to have sex the first time is to feel comfortable communicating with your partner about your needs. If you don't feel good about something, say so! Do you feel your partner will respect the decisions you make about whether to have sex or not? No one has the right to pressure you into having sex. Anyone who challenges / questions your decisions about sex does not respect you as an independent individual.

Again, only you can decide if you are ready to have sex. Remember that you are the only person who should have control over your body. It's hard to say "no," even if you wanted to; You may feel bad about hurting someone else's feelings, or you may feel hopeful about what should have happened. But you always have the right to say "no". Be aware of your feelings, and don't let other people make you feel guilty for making decisions that were right for you.

Do you know how to protect yourself and your partner from the risk of disease and unwanted pregnancy?

If you decide you are ready to have sex for the first time, make sure you and your partner really understand and are ready for all the risks. Vaginal, oral and anal sex, as well as genital touching, can cause sexually transmitted diseases. Penetrating vaginal sex can lead to pregnancy, whether it's the first time or the umpteenth time.

To protect yourself and your partner against this risk, be prepared to protect yourself by using condoms that provide protection against infectious diseases and pregnancy. On the other hand, other forms of contraception (such as birth control pills) can protect against pregnancy but NOT from sexually transmitted diseases. Maintaining your sexual health is very important.

Before deciding to have sex, ask yourself:

• Do I know how to protect myself from sexually transmitted diseases?
• Do I have a supply of condoms, and know how to use them properly?
• Do I know how to prevent pregnancy? or am i ready to get pregnant?
• How do I deal with STDs or unwanted pregnancies?
• Am I ready to go to the doctor for a disease test or pregnancy control?
• Have I discussed this with my partner? If so, what would the reaction be like and what solutions would it offer if you were pregnant or contracted a disease?

It would be better to have a discussion of sensitive matters like this in advance, even before you and your partner are actually ready to have sex. Discuss what you want and what you don't want to do. Sex isn't the only aspect of romantic relationships, and there are other ways to spend time together.

I thought I was ready to have sex the first time. So, what should I do?

Sex is a big step in both parties' lives; So don't be shy to ask questions and exchange ideas with your partner. They may feel the same way and aren't sure how to approach you. If you feel comfortable enough to have sex with your partner, then you should be prepared to talk about it.

Do you really feel ready and completely comfortable with yourself and your partner to have sex, and vice versa with your partner? If the answer is yes, I feel really ready to have sex with my partner, then there's nothing wrong with starting - if you fully understand the risks involved.

Also make sure:

• you two You are welcome want to have sex without pressure / coercion each other or from others
• You are honest about how you feel. Your partner has to be honest too
• You and your partner will do what is necessary to prevent sexually transmitted diseases, such as using condoms and / or medical tests
• If you are going to be engaging in vaginal penetration, use a condom and / or other form of contraception to protect yourself from an unwanted pregnancy
• You both feel comfortable saying "no" or stopping sexual activity in any situation if you feel that something is off

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