8 Things not to say to people who are depressed & bull; hello healthy

When someone in your life is depressed, what would you say to help him or her? Those of you who know and love someone who is depressed usually want nothing but to help, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, in times of depression, often even the best-intentioned efforts can backfire.

"People still don't have a clear idea about mental illness," said Kathleen Brennon, representative of the Depression Alliance, quoted by Health. Sometimes, people around will say, "Don't be sad all the time, be a little bit strong." For someone who is depressed, there is nothing worse than hearing comments like these. It is important for you to know that depression is not just feeling upset or sad.

Upset and sadness are human feelings and we all have them. But depression is a real medical condition - something that lasts for weeks or even years, which can even put a person at risk of suicide. Depression is not just a matter of temporary mood swings.

We know you want to help, but there are right and wrong ways; taking a misstep, trifling with someone's depression can make the condition even more worse - more isolated and exacerbating feelings of being misunderstood by silly comments or questions from friends or family members.

Here are 8 comments you will definitely want to avoid - even if well intentioned - to prevent making things worse for someone who is already feeling bad.

Don't say this if you want to help someone who is depressed

1. "There are always people out there who are suffering more than you"

Or "Well, what can I do. Life is not fair, "or" Look on the bright side, at least you are still given a healthy body."

This is very true, but knowing that some people have third-degree burns doesn't make first-degree burn patients feel any less pain; problems that other people have don't just make yours disappear.

"Depression is a very common disorder," said dr. Harold Koenigsberg, a psychiatrist and professor of psychiatry at the Icahn School of Medicine in Mount Sinai, New York, reported by Upworthy. Iia explained that about 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men suffer from major depression at some point in their life. These statistics mean that it is quite possible for all of us to know of someone who has dealt with depression at some point in his life.

Just say this: "You are not alone. I'm here for you."

2. "Ah.. it's just your feelings."

Yes, depression is linked to mood swings. But it's not that simple. Depression is not just a temporary fluctuation of mood changes, this condition is caused by a hormonal imbalance in the brain. These comments show that people suffering from depression have control over their suffering - that if they put in a little effort to think positively, they will feel better. It also underestimates the real physical pain that depression can cause.

Just say this: “I see that you are currently having a hard time, and your situation makes me worry. Is there anything I can do to help?"

3. "There's nothing to worry about, everything will be fine."

A depressed person feels sad or bad about many things, but these things do not cause their depression. Depression is not always caused by certain traumatic events or sadness. Sometimes depression just happens; doesn't make it any less serious.

This advice can trigger an explosion of anxiety in the person. Again, assuming that depression is related to a specific event or triggered by a particular event / trauma makes it a master's weapon on your desire to try to understand and empathize with the people you care about.

Just say this: "Sorry I didn't realize you were suffering. I would love to spend time with you, and I am more than willing to be your “trash can” to get your guts out. Coffee, let's? ", Or" Have you ever wanted to seek help?"

4. "It's the same, I used to be depressed because of it

If you've actually been depressed and made it out, hearing these comments from someone who had the same experience could be very meaningful to someone who feels that no one understands them, or is feeling too embarrassed to talk about their situation.

However, if you simply say it to "calm down" without knowing exactly what a depressed person is going through, this comment can really come across as demeaning. Feeling depressed as a healthy individual is very different from clinical depression: one is a chronic condition that can last months to years, while the other is a separate incident, making it impossible to generalize between the two. You have been in situations that you thought were similar / triggered depression, mourning for example, but you did not actually face the "ghost" that restrains the depressed person every day.

Although they often overlap, sadness when grieving and depression are not the same thing. Depressed people struggle to get a glimmer of hope for months and years, something you really feel if you've ever had clinical depression.

Just say this: “I can only imagine what you went through, but I will try to understand it as best I can. We can and will free you from this suffering."

5. "Ah, why are you depressed? You look fine / happy, really! "

Just like when you choose filters, angles, and lighting for your selfie, depressed people also adjust their "mask" when they are in public, with the people closest to them. Some people are very good at disguising their depression. It's easy to fake happiness, so just because your friend / family member is smiling broadly, doesn't mean they aren't suffering on the inside.

Just say this: "Recently I saw you are a little different. What is wrong? How can I help? " or "I miss it, let's have coffee, let's talk!"

6. "Just say yes, if you need help."

Comments like this are often well-intentioned but result in a bad ending. If you really want to help, your actions must match your words. It is very important for him to know that you are 100 percent willing to support and help him, that you are doing what you promise. If you don't follow up on appointments at the mall together or stay at her house, then asking her to check on her condition will only trigger her depression to worsen (because she thinks you are "just teasing her").

Just say this: "Have you ever thought of getting help?", "Tell me what I can do now to help you.", Or "Slow down, I care about you and I'll be right here with you to get through all of this,"

7. "Get out of the house often!" or "Smile, Grandpa, once in a while."

This shows that you have simple - and wrong - assumptions about depression. A comment like this is like telling someone with a broken leg, "Why don't you try to walk?" Don't treat depression like a life choice, as if the person is choosing to be in constant suffering. No one chooses to be depressed.

Just say this: "I hate seeing you suffer. Come on, try a new coffee shop near the office. They say, delicious!"

8. "He said, exercise or diet can cure depression. Have you ever tried it? "

We often think depression goes away easily, but depression is a congenital condition. Although exercise can help suppress bad moods, when a person is struggling with depression it may be too difficult to even get out of bed for a few days.

Suggesting easy tips like jogging or eating these to cure depression implies that a depressed person may not be doing everything he can to recover, says Nikki Martinez, PsyD, a psychologist and clinically licensed professional counselor. "Commenting like this is like saying what happened was not the result of an imbalance in the body or a trivial health problem, when depression is actually a chronic condition," Martinez added.

Making different choices in the future may help them deal with depression, but first, they need to recover to even make informed decisions.

Just say this: "You are very important to me. Your life is important to me. When you feel like giving up, tell yourself that you will last for one more day, one more hour, one more minute - how long you can afford, "or" I trust you, and I know you can get through all of this. I will be by your side at all times."

What to remember when dealing with someone with depression?

There are many other words or comments that can have a negative impact on someone who is depressed. Remember, depression is not just a fleeting mood change. Depression is a serious medical condition that requires professional treatment. Give me a hand. Being supportive involves offering encouragement and hope. Very often, support is a matter of communicating with the person in a language he will understand and be able to respond to while under pressure.

By keeping these tips in mind, not only can we avoid saying the wrong things, but we can stay around someone who is depressed, saying and doing the right things.