A "needy" partner can get jealous of their first child

Jealousy of other people who approach you may be natural, but what about your own children? In fact, some couples who have recently become parents admit that they feel their partner is being "taken over" by their own children.

What causes this condition to occur in a family and how to deal with it?

Couples can be jealous of their own children

In fact, couples or new parents who are jealous of their own children are quite rare. In fact, this condition is more common in people who show excessive anxiety in relationships even before the birth of their first child.

You may think this doesn't make sense because who could be jealous of a baby? In fact, this has been proven through research from Journal of Social and Relationship .

Experts use data from a project called New Parents Project . This project is a study to see how couples who are the backbone of the family adjust to being parents for the first time.

This study was followed by 182 couples, most of whom were married. During the third trimester of pregnancy, mom and dad try to solve a number of questions, including feeling anxious and bonding with one another.

In the questionnaire, participants were asked whether they agreed with questions such as fear of being left behind or losing love from a partner. Then, three months after the participants' babies were born, the partners returned to complete questions about the relationship between the partners and the baby.

Most of them assume that they do not like it when their partner floods the baby with more care and affection than when they are with them.

As predicted by the researchers, they found partners were much more jealous of their first child three months after birth than during pregnancy.

This may be because partners who experience excessive anxiety in the past often receive a lot of attention from their partners. When the first baby is born, of course the attention will be more focused on the child.

This condition turns out to occur both in parents (father and mother) needy or feeling anxious. Both are likely to feel jealous of the time their partner spends with the newborn.

From this study it appears that a program for expectant parents to become aware of their relationship before their first baby is born is needed.

Your partner's jealousy affects your relationship

Some couples may find their partner jealous of their first child cute at first. However, if left on too long, this jealousy can have a negative effect on your relationship with your partner.

Jealousy for a long time can actually make the relationship between partners difficult and increase stress between the two.

From the study above, it was found that when one partner feels jealous of his first child, it can reduce relationship satisfaction after becoming a parent. As a result, the relationship between partners can be stretched and could be one of the reasons why after the first child is born, the feeling of satisfaction with the partner decreases.

This can happen to every partner if you don't have good communication with your partner. Conflicts and fights may arise more frequently because there is so much to think about and do after the baby is born.

Imagine, you or your partner may have less time to think about the needs of your partner and vice versa.

This condition occurs because you are both trying to adjust to your newborn baby. For fathers and mothers who may be breadwinners, this may become a new responsibility.

As a result, stress, frustration, and conflict for you and your partner cannot be avoided. There are times that you may both try to avoid discussion and feel dissatisfied in the relationship.

Some of the events above can be caused by jealousy experienced by your partner for their first child and are a sign that your relationship is under pressure.

How to solve a partner problem needy and jealous?

Couples who feel excessively anxious may feel jealous of their first child and this can affect the quality of your relationship. Therefore, you and your partner need to prepare to become parents for the first time and keep the relationship from falling free.

Here are some tips for expectant parents who may fear that their baby will distract from their partner.

Keeping the relationship priority

One way to deal with your partner's jealousy with your child, which can have a negative impact on both of you, is to keep your relationship priorities. For example, meeting the needs of both of you and supporting each other's roles as parents is quite important.

If you both feel that the relationship is getting stretched by the presence of the baby, there are a number of things that need to be considered so that the gap does not get wider as follows.

• Spend time together regularly and show that you care.
• Take time to listen to complaints, such as when the baby is asleep.
• Make friends with other new parents besides old friends and family.

At first it might be difficult. However, over time the two of you may get used to the agreed 'date' schedule and rebuild the romance after the child is born.

Share tasks

Sounds troublesome, but it turns out that sharing tasks can keep a relationship healthy when a couple feels jealous of their first child.

Pregnancy is a great time to discuss and share tasks when the baby is born and whether you and your partner want to do things differently.

Keep in mind that it's important to be flexible and look at the concept of sharing the two of you tasks over time. This is because as the baby grows, there will be some changes that may affect both of your plans.

In addition, it will also help you and your partner not to appear lame in attention to the baby. For example, when the mother is just learning to breastfeed, as a partner you may appreciate her efforts to put in the effort.

A partner's jealousy of a child may only last a short time because parenthood is a lifelong task. Therefore, having a good mental preparation between you and your partner greatly impacts the relationship so that it does not stretch when the baby is just born.