5 reasons why the children never pay attention to the parents' nagging

You must be annoyed if your child misbehaves when you advise him, whether it's by arguing, playing cellphone , or the most annoying thing is to leave you. There is just the child's behavior when you try to advise him. Before you just get upset and angry, first find out what causes your child not to listen to parental babbling or nagging.

Why don't children like listening to parents' nagging?

If your child won't listen to you, blame no one. Nothing is wrong. Whether it's your child, your partner, your child's friends, or yourself. According to Deborah MacNamara, Ph.D., a child counselor from Canada, resistance, resistance, and resistance are human nature. Especially if you feel controlled and forced to do something. This expert opinion was quoted from the Huffington Post Canada.

Not only children, you may feel the same way when someone dictates to you what to think, do, or feel. It feels bad when someone is running your life, right? The challenge for parents is that children are not yet mature enough to understand why you are nagging, so children are more prone to reactions in the form of resistance.

Apart from resistance, why do children find it so hard to listen to the words of their parents?

You may often wonder what is wrong with you or your little one that it is so difficult for him to listen to and pay attention to what your parents say. In order for you to better understand the contents of your little one's thoughts and be able to communicate with children more effectively, consider the following five main reasons.

1. Parents' nagging is usually too long and convoluted

When you try to nag a child at length, the child will lose focus in the middle. This is because children's attention spans are indeed short, unlike adults who can listen to lectures for hours, for example. So that, the child can forget what you really meant by talking, so he is likely to repeat the same mistakes.

Scolding by parents also makes children feel that their parents don't care about their opinions or conditions, because parents just want to talk continuously without listening to them.

The solution is to admonish the children with solid, clear, and concise sentences. There are times when you have to talk at length with children about problems that are quite heavy. However, it must also be done in a supportive atmosphere and in an attractive way so that the child doesn't easily lose focus.

2. The tone of speech or words chosen by the parents is not quite right

Do you often nag your child in a high-pitched tone? Occasionally speaking in a high tone to discipline a child is natural. However, if you always do this over and over again and your nagging is too long, your children can't bear to hear it over time.

Meanwhile, if all this time you mostly use negative words such as "don't", "shouldn't be", and "forbidden", the child will be confused about what to do because parents can only prohibit, not give directions. Likewise, when a parent scolds a child with harsh words that are derogatory, for example calling a child “stupid”.

Instead, state your command in clear directions and in a low voice such as, "Brother, put your bag in the room now." Don't just grumble by saying, “Don't put the bag there, please! What a mess! You have to be told how many times, you? ”. If the child has not yet moved, you can emphasize it again with a sentence such as, "Mother count to three, your bag must be put into the room."

3. Used to threaten or yell at children

Be careful if parents threaten or yell at their children too often. Children who are accustomed to being told out loud tend to ignore their parents when they don't speak in a normal tone. As a result, you always have to pull a muscle first if you want your child to listen to your parents nagging.

Therefore, change this habit slowly. Speak in a voice and tone that is slightly soft but still firm.

4. Grumble while doing other things

If you feel that your child is not listening to advice, try to make sure that you and your child are not busy doing anything else. Often times you talk without getting their attention first, so they won't listen to what you have to say.

If you want your child to listen to your parents' words, speak privately. Don't talk while washing dishes, play handphone, etc. Nagging while doing other things will make children ignore the parents' nagging.

5. Parents do not set an example

Children will follow the behavior of their parents. Yes, secretly, children always pay attention to the behavior of their parents as a measure of acceptable behavior or not. Therefore, if parents themselves do not set good examples such as how to listen to and respect others, children will imitate them.

For example, suppose your partner is babbling about something. Instead of listening carefully and looking for solutions, you are busy doing other things while continuing to defend yourself. This habit will be imitated by children when one day you nag them.

So, be a good example for children. When the child is grumbling at length, invite the children to sit together and discuss the problem well. Over time, children will learn how to behave when they have conflicts with other people.

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