Table of contents:
- Why feeling insecure in a relationship can appear?
- Overcoming the fear of losing due to feelings insecure
- 1. Think deeply about your actions
- 2. Get to know your partner more deeply
- 3. Recall your qualities
- 4. Maintain independence
- 5. Believe in yourself
Feeling insecure aka insecure or insecure should never be underestimated. If these feelings are ignored, it can actually rob you of peace and damage your relationship with your partner. Feeling insecure in a relationship it can take many forms. For example, you are always asking for certainty, easily jealous, easy to accuse, so that you are afraid of losing your partner for various reasons. According to Frankie Bashan, Psy.D., if this continues, it will actually make your partner further away.
Why feeling insecure in a relationship can appear?
Feeling insecure can arise due to various things, both from the partner and from within oneself. However, the fact is that most insecurities arise from yourself and can develop due to various factors from outside yourself. Generally, these feelings arise and are controlled by the negative thoughts that you create yourself. For example, feeling that you have no advantages, your life will be destroyed without a partner, until you feel that you are not really loved by your partner.
Feeling insecure in relationships can also arise as a result of past trauma. For example, you have been hurt in a previous relationship or a parent's divorce which makes you always feel anxious. In addition, insecurity can sometimes arise because you feel so much love for your partner that you feel afraid of losing.
Overcoming the fear of losing due to feelings insecure
Because of feelings insecure usually comes from within yourself, so only you can change it. So instead of increasingly demanding your partner to serve all your wishes, you should start to reflect and make changes. Try the following ways to overcome the fear of loss and insecure .
1. Think deeply about your actions
Are you aware that the anxiety and anxiety that surrounds you can trigger highly destructive behavior? Therefore, try to refrain from being reckless, however big your worries.
Think carefully about whether you really need to check your cellphone, check your social media accounts, and call your partner every hour. Actually you don't need to do these things if you are able to control yourself and instill a sense of trust in yourself and your partner.
That way, lingering feelings insecure can be overcome. Conversely, if you continue to indulge your impulses without thinking to control every movement of your partner, of course your partner can feel hot.
2. Get to know your partner more deeply
You have to accept that your partner has a different mindset and attitude than yours. You and your partner won't always see things the same way. You and your partner also do not necessarily have the same love language.
That's why your partner may not always be able to give you what you want. Instead of suspecting him and constantly feeling afraid of losing, focus your thoughts and energies on getting to know your partner more deeply.
Find out how your partner expresses love, manages emotions, and treats others. By getting to know your partner's personality further, you can grow trust in him.
3. Recall your qualities
When feeling insecure , You are often haunted by a lack of self. For that, one way to deal with this feeling is to recall the values and qualities you have. Maybe you feel insecure to couples because they feel not beautiful or handsome whereas out there there are more women who are much prettier and men who are more handsome. You become afraid that your partner will be tempted and then leave you.
To overcome this, try to remember the qualities of yourself that make your partner fall in love with you. Maybe you don't really pay attention to appearance, but you are honest and trustworthy.
4. Maintain independence
Healthy relationships are those that are less dependent on one another. Being an independent person will help you feel more secure and confident in your relationship.
The more you live depending on your partner, the greater the taste insecure Will appear. The reason is, you feel that your partner is "winning" and "more powerful" than you.
5. Believe in yourself
Learning to believe in yourself is the key to maintaining a sense of security in relationships. Trust yourself that you will still find a way to be happy, no matter how big the problem is. When you have self-confidence, you will avoid feeling insecure which can rob you of inner calm.
