Your teenager started dating? here's a wise way to deal with it

As a parent, you may worry when you find out that your child has started dating. Parents usually think about the bad effects that arise when children are attracted to the opposite sex. So, what should parents do when their children start dating? Check out the full explanation about dating in adolescents below.

Actually, when is a child allowed to date?

At puberty, which is 11 to 20 years of age, teenagers can feel a sense of liking or being attracted to the opposite sex. This happens because sexual or reproductive hormones increase.

If your child begins to show interest in the opposite sex, this is perfectly normal and almost certainly will be at the adolescent stage of development.

Adolescence is a time when children have a high sense of curiosity, especially about feelings and the opposite sex around them.

However, the actual age of the child cannot be the right benchmark for determining when to start dating. The problem is, sometimes age doesn't really describe a child's maturity.

What can be used as an example is that a 15 year old teenager may be much older than his 18 year old brother.

Meanwhile, to start dating, psychological development, mental maturity, and maturity are the keys to building romantic relationships with other people in a healthy and responsible manner.

Then how to assess the maturity and mental maturity of your child? You can see it from the behavior and habits of children everyday.

For example, can children be trusted to carry out their responsibilities?

These responsibilities can be as simple as tidying up his own room and helping younger siblings study. It can also be seen from big things such as maintaining good grades in school and good attendance.

You can also assess the readiness of a child or teenager to date by looking at the way he communicates, whether it is effective or not. One of them, for example, whether the child often lies or not.

If the child is caught lying frequently, it means that he does not fully understand how communication between the two people is built.

Even though in a relationship, honest and open communication is very important.

According to experts, this is the right age for dating children

Although actual age cannot be used as a measure of dating readiness, experts have suggestions about when children can date.

Quoted from Healthy Children, there is a difference in age that can be seen when a child or teenager wants to start dating. Girls are usually at the age of 12.5 years while boys are at the age of 13.

However, this is not what parents think. At this age, teenagers prefer to go in groups because they feel safer and less awkward.

Not only that, they also enjoy spending time with each other.

According to a pediatrician from the Denver Health Medical Center in the United States (US), dr. Ron Eagar, usually the development of adolescent psychology and maturity is quite good at the age of 16 years.

This figure is certainly not a benchmark that must be applied to every teenager to start dating.

However, according to Dr. Ron Eagar, this age is classified as the ideal age for teenagers to start hanging out with their partner.

This is because he already has the courage as well as a sense of security that has not been felt before.

A similar message was conveyed by a clinical psychologist from the US, Leslie Beth Wish. Leslie believes that children aged 15 to 16 years are usually getting close to the opposite sex and this is normal.

However, it may not be until the age of 16 that your teenager is truly ready for a romantic or dating relationship.

However, this all comes down to your own decisions and judgments as a parent.

What should parents do when their children start dating?

When your teen starts dating, here are a few things to do:

Accompanying, not prohibiting

It is important to remember that teenagers who start dating should not be banned, but should be accompanied and given the right direction. Encourage children to talk heart to heart to find out the concept of healthy dating.

Why is that? Too restrictive can actually make your child feel strange and keep your distance from you even more.

Even worse, there is a chance that the child will tend to have a secret relationship, aka backstreet . This in fact will make it difficult for you to monitor and guide him.

Direction from parents is important so that your teenager who has started dating can still be responsible for himself, including his achievements in school.

You can give the understanding that a good date is one that can motivate each other.

You can also tell your child how to respect and respect the opposite sex.

Therefore, be a parent who can be used as a place to confide in children. Don't judge or scold him when he tells you that he already has a girlfriend.

After listening to the story, be honest about your opinion and feelings. You can also provide rules and restrictions regarding what you can and cannot do during courtship.

When building a positive and open atmosphere, your child will appreciate your worries. Better yet, the child will likely consider the rules and limitations.

For example, "You can just be close to A, but you ask your brother's performance at school not to drop because of the fun of dating."

"If it comes down because of that, Mother will be firm in not allowing you to date first until you can take responsibility for yourself and what you say, okay?"

Provide sex education

Another important thing to do when your teenager is dating is to provide sexual education.

Sexual education or sex education helps children know what to do and what not to do with the opposite sex.

Because in his teens, his curiosity was so great that he often wanted to try new things he had never done before, including sexual activity.

Exposure to viewing on social media can increase his curiosity about certain sexual activities, such as hugging, kissing, and having sex.

Explain to him the risks that can arise when he has sexual activity with his girlfriend, from contracting venereal diseases to getting pregnant outside of marriage.

Therefore, it is important to provide sex education as a guide for children to behave when dating. That way, it is hoped that children will not fall into unwanted negative things.

Explain the consequences

Your child may not know that having relationships with other people is complex. Naturally, when he is in love, what he knows is going out to be fun.

Now, your job as a parent is to explain that dating is not always smooth. There are times when dating may not go well.

In addition to heartbreak, you also need to tell the signs of an unhealthy relationship that leads to violence.

Here are some things you can explain to your teenager about the characteristics of unhealthy dating:

• Couples control their life, what they can and cannot do.
• Disrespectful and out of bounds.
• Bullying also controls your partner.
• Too dependent.
• Do not have a polite attitude towards parents.
• Engaging in physical or sexual violence

In addition, explain that when he is dating, he still has to be able to divide his time, which is for family, friends, and studying.

Of the various things that you have explained, let the child make the decision whether currently dating is the right choice or not.

Your job as a parent is to supervise and guide the teenager if he does decide to date.

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