It turns out that cheating with feelings can also damage a household

What includes cheating with feelings?

When you are in a relationship, in fact attraction is still a natural human instinct that will last forever and cannot be avoided. This is because when we look at other people, the brain will start processing the visual information we see and make instant judgments based on a person's attractiveness.

However, if you cross certain boundaries, have special feelings or thoughts about other people outside of your relationship, it could be considered cheating. This is also explained by Gail Saltz, MD, associate professor of psychiatry at New York-Presbyterian Hospital and Weill Cornell School of Medicine. Reporting from WebMD, cheating with feelings in general can continue at a "higher" level, namely cheating physically (which includes sexual intercourse).

There are many factors that underlie why you can cheat using feelings. Usually, this cheating heart is triggered by the lack and dissatisfaction of the partner and the problem of closeness between you and the affair. For example, you and your affair often meet face to face everyday so that you feel a sense of closeness to each other.

What is the difference between cheating with the heart and cheating in general?

Then what is the difference between feeling cheating and physically cheating? You see, physical infidelity is more real. For example, having sexual acts or engaging in other erotic things between you and the affair. Physical cheating also doesn't have to have feelings of affection or love for each other. For example, going out to "snack" to have sex with a prostitute is considered a physical affair.

Meanwhile, infidelity through this feeling tends to be invisible. You have to observe their characteristics through each other's behavior, attitude, gestures, or feelings. In fact, sometimes, the seeds of feelings between people who are having an affair are often denied by those who experience it.

What are the signs that you are cheating with feelings?

In addition to being attracted to each other by cheating, cheating often uses feelings so that it creates a sense of comfort, feelings of being wanted, and attachment "informally" between you and other people. But for more details, see what are the benchmarks for determining the feelings of the cheating heart, according to Saltz:

You spend a lot of time thinking, fantasizing, and dreaming about the third person. You like to imagine that you are screwing up with that person. Can also fantasize or dream of having sex with an affair
You tell things like your dreams and hopes for an affair that even your legal partner doesn't know
You purposely dress up or dress neatly, to attract the attention of a certain person
You deliberately create and spend time with your affair
You really care about cheating
You tell something that is confidential to the mistress, but you never tell the real partner. Usually in the form of complaints or other personal problems

What are the risks of people cheating with feelings?

Obviously, if you cheat with this feeling, it can be anchored on the verge of breaking the relationship. For people who are still dating, having two-hearted cheating can lead to a breakdown in the relationship. Especially if your relationship and your official partner are already at the stage of marriage. You could be at risk and hurt your spouse or family, possibly leading to divorce. Not infrequently, you can also be considered a traitor to someone who was hurt.

How do you end this ambivalent heart?

First, there must be an awareness in yourself that the feelings and actions you take on other people outside of the relationship are wrong. If you already understand the risks and consequences that will be received, it's good to immediately try to end this.

Don't just indulge and cultivate this feeling even more. It is okay to be close with other people outside of your relationship. But remember, you should only do so within reasonable limits. For example, the problem of closeness to confide in with the opposite sex that can trigger this feeling of cheating, you can divert it by confiding in a friend or relative. Meanwhile, if you often meet these other people, avoid traveling alone with them. This is especially true if you or one of you are already in an official relationship.

However, it is not uncommon for many to get out of this emotional affair. They succeeded in overpowering their own egos. If you feel you can't solve this problem, it's a good idea to ask for help from other people such as psychologists, therapists or relatives who can get you out of the bondage of feelings that shouldn't happen.