This is the impact if the parents often criticize the child out of it

What happens when a parent criticizes a child harshly?

A study conducted by Binghamton University in New York, looked at 87 children and their parents to find out how children react when they are criticized by their parents. Parents were asked to criticize the child for five minutes. Then, the children were asked to name which emotions they recognized from their parents' expressions.

The results showed that children who received too frequent harsh criticism were not very sensitive in assessing the facial expressions of their parents. This phenomenon is known as attention bias, which is the tendency to pay attention to some things while ignoring others.

Quoted Healthline page, Monica Jackman, a therapist in Port St. Lucie, Florida explains that the amygdala is getting more and more of a response — the part of the brain that processes emotions — facial expressions, making someone want to ignore them even more.

"Parents can be frustrated and continue to give criticism because children show an attention bias," added Jackman. To put it this simply, no one likes being criticized and blamed. Especially with the spicy tone and the face of a fierce parent. Likewise with children. The feeling of being criticized all out is certainly unpleasant. Because of that, children who were often criticized by their parents unconsciously ignored their parents' angry words and expressions.

This is normal for anyone, including children, to defend themselves from fear or anger. They prefer to focus on something else, such as looking down and staring at their own feet. That way, they don't have to feel how hurt and embarrassed their parents are.

So, the more often your child is criticized, the more likely it is that he won't listen to the criticism. Parents who feel neglected become increasingly scathing about criticizing and scolding their children.

In the long run, the attention bias shown by children coupled with excessive parental criticism can make it difficult for children to recognize emotions from other people's facial expressions. This is because they have become accustomed (inadvertently) to ignore other people's emotions.

In fact, the ability to recognize emotions is very important for children to express their own emotions and also to communicate with others.

Apart from disturbed emotional development, children's mental health can also be affected if parents are too harsh in criticizing their children. This kind of parenting, according to Greg Hajcak Proudfit, a psychologist at Stony Brook University, might deter children. However, it can also expose children to anxiety disorders.

So, what is the best way to criticize children?

Children often make mistakes, such as playing until forgetting time, not cleaning the bedroom, or taking a rain shower without permission. This is normal and of course faced by many parents, not just you. Then, how do parents control children's behavior? One of them is by giving him criticism.

However, you need to know that everyone has made mistakes, especially children who are still learning. Even though your child's behavior often makes you shake your head, it doesn't mean that every action needs to be criticized. Moreover, overly criticizing him, for example with a loud voice or harsh words.

The criticism you give to the child must be heard and understood by the child. Do not let the criticism go to the right ear and out of the left ear, aka useless.

The trick is not easy, but you can apply the "criticism plus praise" technique. That is, while you criticize your child, give him praise and support. Also, choose words that don't hurt your child. Of course the child will pay attention to you.

For example, a child leaves his room a mess after he draws and scribbles. Try saying, “You have a beautiful picture, son. But why is the room messy, huh? If the picture is good, the room is made nice too, please. Come on, tidy up your colored pencils and desk when you're done drawing. "