Loving two people at once, don't you think? which one to choose?

Nothing is happier than when you fall in love. Just thinking for a moment that you've finally found the soulful soul you have been dreaming of, can be so thrilling. But what happens if you meet someone who is new and different from the person who makes you equally happy? Is it natural to sincerely love two people at once? Or is it just blinding lust?

As a human being, it's natural to love two (or more) people at once

We often assume that attraction to other people will disappear once we explore a commitment, whether it's dating or married. In fact, attraction is a natural human instinct that will remain forever and cannot be avoided. This is because when we look at other people, the brain will start processing the visual information we see and make instant judgments based on a person's attractiveness.

This instinct is based on the unconscious impulse of the brain inherited from ancient humans who value sex as a purely biological activity for reproduction in order to increase its chances of having more offspring in the world and ensure our species survive.

That is why many experts say that it is not impossible to love two or more people. Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D., a psychology professor from UCLA even compared a love triangle to an ice cream. Chocolate and strawberry ice cream tastes different, but they are both delicious. It's even more delicious if you combine it all at once, like the taste of Neapolitan ice cream. But of course, love is not as easy as choosing the taste of ice cream, right?

Durvasula then added that humans are complicated creatures in terms of feelings. You can find inner satisfaction by building relationships with bright, open-minded people, for example. But on the other hand, you also get your own satisfaction when you hang out with people who are humorous and full of surprises.

In addition, loving someone also "forces" you to let your guard down and open up more - enabling you to put all criticism and doubts aside - so you can reconcile your needs and desires with that person.

This kind of attraction to other people is a natural, natural trait. So it is very possible, even possible, that you love two people with different traits at the same time. This is because the characteristics, personalities, and maybe even physical traits between the two people can complement what you need in an ideal relationship.

Love is not only about feelings, but also about the influence of hormones

When you fall in love, you are under the influence of the hormone play that makes you experience roller coaster emotions. Reporting from Psychology Today, a research team from the University of Pisa found that in the early stages of a romantic relationship, the activity of the hormones adrenaline, dopamine, oxytocin, norepineprine, and phenylethylamine (PEA - a natural amphetamine also found in chocolate and marijuana) is mixed and increases when there is mutual attraction between two or more people. PEA also plays a role in generating a very deep desire to unite with your lover.

Uniquely, during the euphoric phase, the relaxing effect you get from the "good mood" hormone serotonin decreases and is replaced by an obsession with your relationship. So it is not impossible for you to keep remembering the romantic memories that you spent with him. This increase in hormones is completely natural and beyond your control.

Loving yourself makes it easier for you to love other people

As reported by WomansHealth, when you really love yourself for who you are, you will more easily open up to new people around you. Especially when your life starts to experience changes in a more positive direction, for example when you have got a new, more established job or a body that is now healthier and fitter after successfully living a healthy lifestyle.

It is at this moment that you can feel sparks of attraction to other people, even if you already have a partner. Sometimes the more comfortable and happy you are with yourself from the inside out, the easier it will be for you to accept the presence of the other person in your life, so it's not impossible to fall in love with them.

Can it have two people at once?

Although it's natural, you certainly can't continue to love two people at once. Not only will you gradually stress yourself out, "hanging on" other people's futures will also have a negative impact on the quality of your relationships with those around you.

Indeed, there is no certain formula that can make you decide which one. But all decisions will ultimately come back to oneself.

Before making a choice, try to understand what you really seek and need in a partner. What types of people can you get together to live with, and be sure how you feel if that person is the right fit for you to love. Take your time, let nature sort out which one is the best for you.

All choices are risky, but if logic and heart work together to choose, you too can avoid the worst risks and live a happier life.