Bad effects if parents often fight in front of children

It's okay to fight with your partner, but don't do it in front of your child. The reason is, this can have a negative impact on mental health, and even cause trauma to the baby. What trauma can arise from a fight between parents and how can you deal with it?

A sign that the child is traumatized after seeing the argument of the parents

Every child has a different reaction, but generally you can see the difference in the child's behavior after seeing the parent's argument.

Especially during the development of a 6-9 year old child, he can easily learn and record everything he sees, including seeing parents' arguments.

On this basis, fighting in front of children should be avoided as much as possible.

Various signs of traumatized children after seeing the arguments of parents, namely:

• Acting as if he was afraid of his parents
• Avoiding her parents at various times
• Often moody, aloof a lot, or like to cry.
• Symptoms of depression, anxiety, behavioral problems, and stress appear in children.

In fact, it is not the amount of parental arguing that has the most impact on the child.

The factor that most influences the child is whether the argument between the two parents gets worse or gets better by reconciling each other.

Parents' arguing is not a problem if you and your partner are trying to solve the problem.

Unfortunately, not all parents realize that their children are very sensitive to the conflicts or arguments of their father and mother.

In fact, the age of children is a period in which their growth and development is progressing rapidly.

You need to foster a sense of empathy, apply ways of disciplining children, to get children to be honest.

How to explain the meaning of fighting in front of children

If the fight can't be avoided until it is seen by your little one, it is better for you and your partner to immediately give him understanding.

Explain to the child what just happened so that he doesn't feel depressed or even sad.

The explanation of what is fighting needs to be adjusted according to the child's age.

When he was a child, you could explain things like, “Brother, just Mom and Dad angry for a while like you and your friends at school, but us already okay, really."

Explain also that by fighting, mom and dad understand what they like and don't like, like the little one and their friends at school.

Afterward, let them know that mom and dad will learn to be better in the future.

Meanwhile, if a fight in front of a child is getting older, parents can explain more honestly.

Explain that everyone has differences of opinion, including mom and dad.

Do not forget, also explain that even though you are fighting, you and your partner are trying or have resolved the problem of differences of opinion.

The meaning of fighting in front of teenagers can be explained as a process of learning to know between father and mother while improving oneself.

It is important to make an honest explanation of children aged adolescents and over.

This needs to be done so that children understand the condition of their parents and feel trusted and involved in the family.

How to deal with trauma after fighting in front of children

At the age of 6-9 years, there is also children's cognitive development, children's social development, and children's physical development in addition to their emotional development.

If fighting in front of children is truly unavoidable, there are a number of things parents can do.

Here's how to deal with trauma after fighting in front of children:

1. Ask how the child feels

First, ask what the child thinks and how he feels after seeing his mother and father fight.

Listen to children's explanations carefully, then understand their perceptions and feelings.

If your child looks sad and disappointed, give him time to calm down while staying with him.

This aims to make children feel that they still get the attention of their parents.

Avoid abusing children as an outlet for your fight with your partner.

2. Give an explanation to the child

Parents can educate after fighting in front of children.

Education here means by providing explanations to children about the quarrels that occur between parents.

At least, tell the children, that this fight is only for a moment, mom and dad have made up afterward.

Mothers and fathers can see how they react and affect their children a few days or weeks later.

Give confidence to the child that the relationship between the parents, aka you and your partner, will still be fine after the fight.

Also convey that you and your partner still trust and love each other, but this does not mean that a relationship will always work out perfectly.

Because sometimes, children may think that fighting means that their parents do not love each other, reports from Kids Health.

Even all parents, including mom and dad, who love each other very much have a problem that needs to be resolved.

If the child's attitude does not change, is still cheerful as usual, the parents should not show the fight as much as possible.

The impact if the child's trauma is left alone

Fighting in front of children can cause deep trauma to the child and the effect will be dangerous.

It is like a small wound which if left for a long time can become infected and enlarge.

Here are some of the effects when children experience trauma as a result of seeing their parents fight in front of them:

1. Fighting in front of a child makes him feel scared and anxious

Trauma can cause a child to be filled with fear and anxiety as a result of seeing his parents quarreling.

This fear and anxiety can interfere with studying at school, friendships or social life, thus affecting their daily activities.

Children may also perceive marital relationships as negative or unpleasant.

Even children can feel uncomfortable at home and turn the trauma to socializing or negative things such as drinking alcohol.

According to Aleteia, allowing child trauma can make children feel depressed, leading to depression, and even injuring themselves.

Children can also grow up to be unruly personalities, so you need to apply the way of educating stubborn children.

2. Child's emotional development is stunted

On the other hand, fighting in front of children can affect the limitations of children's emotional development.

When a child's emotional development is impaired, he usually displays signs or symptoms such as depression and anxiety.

The impact of fighting in front of children makes your little one show an unusual change in attitude.

Changes in attitude due to seeing the arguments of the two parents can make children withdraw from the social environment and often look gloomy.

Not only that, in some cases, children may act inappropriately and become difficult to handle.

For example, children vent their disappointments and sadness by scolding their siblings and playmates.

Children can also act naughty to distract their parents.

If these attempts are successful, the child will probably do it again and again.

You need to be aware of the various changes experienced by children and pay attention to them.

Another thing you need to know is that arguing by parents physically, verbally or in words, and shaming each other can be bad for children.

If the child experiences complaints, for example, the child is constantly gloomy and is still afraid of the father and mother, it is best to immediately take him to a professional, for example a psychologist.

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