Emotional closeness causes unhealthy relationship patterns & bull; hello healthy

A relationship can be established because of the emotional closeness that is built. With anyone you interact with and have a relationship with, this emotional closeness is definitely there. In fact, emotional connections will begin to form when a new baby is born. Actually, what is emotional closeness? is

Emotional closeness is formed from childhood

Emotional closeness can also be called the emotional bond that exists in a relationship. Without realizing it, everyone has built their emotional closeness since the womb, baby and mother.

These bonds will last and are formed when you are in a relationship with anyone. This closeness can be formed well if emotional needs are met with a variety of responses that can be obtained.

Therefore, emotional closeness will be formed well when someone feels their emotional needs are met.

According to an article published by Psychology Today, when I was a child, the two main emotional needs that are very basic and possessed by every human being are the need to feel loved and the need to be rewarded positively.

Meeting these needs in turn helps build an emotional bond between you and your parent or caregiver. This is because your parent or caregiver is someone who can calm you down and help you meet your emotional needs.

Emotional closeness takes effect when someone is in a relationship

Well, unfortunately not everyone can get their emotional needs since childhood. There may be someone whose emotional needs were not properly met since childhood.

For example in childhood, he did not get attention or felt less loved by the people around him, this will affect his emotional needs later.

As a result of his needs not being met, the emotional closeness that is formed is also not good which ultimately affects him when he has relationships with other people.

People like this usually tend to look for other people's attention. Apart from that, he also couldn't face any form of separation.

This triggers the person to do various things to get the attention of others, or it can also be called 'attention seeking'. This behavior is applied only to meet his emotional needs.

If so, this attention-seeking attitude will repeat itself over and over again. Why? Because this person thinks that he will only get attention if he does these negative things.

If this is the case, this person certainly tends to have an unhealthy relationship pattern. This can be triggered because the lack of emotional closeness that is formed with the closest people makes them less aware of the concept of a healthy relationship.

4 characteristics of unhealthy relationship patterns

People whose emotional needs are not being met properly tend to form unhealthy relationship patterns. Do you know what are the characteristics of an unhealthy relationship pattern?

1. Familiar too quickly

Getting along with other people is not a problem. However, this can be a problem if you have determined that the person you just met is your true friend or soulmate.

You may feel that you have such an emotional connection with the person you just met that you immediately think of them as your best friend and entrust everything to them. In fact, this person may not necessarily feel the same way about you. It could be that the other person is thinking the opposite way about you.

Therefore, if one day the person disappoints you or does something that doesn't meet your expectations, this feeling of intimacy can become boomerang for your mental health.

2. Feeling like always being with your partner

Your behavior in a romantic relationship is also a reflection of the emotional closeness you had while growing up. If your parent or caregiver doesn't meet your need for self-confidence, then a sense of insecurity or insecurity will be nurtured from an early age. This shows that the process of forming emotional closeness with parents or caregivers is not going well.

This triggers the feeling of being abandoned to continue to arise even if you feel the relationship with your partner is fine. Therefore, to dismiss this insecurity, you are trying to get a guarantee that your partner will not leave you, one of which is by always being close to each other and even obsessing over being with your partner.

3. Feel the stranger as one of the closest people

Lack of emotional closeness also has the potential to make you more likely to position the stranger, who gives you the least attention, as one of the closest people in your life. In fact, this is just your feeling, not a fact that you have to believe.

This feeling triggers you to feel certain rights towards the stranger. For example, you may feel that you have the right to be sad, angry, and disappointed about the personal decisions that other people make. Just because you feel you should be involved in making that decision doesn't mean you really have that right.

It happens because there is an emotional need within you that you are trying to fulfill by forming a pseudo emotional closeness that you make one-sidedly.

4. Feel the need for public recognition

Lack of self-confidence felt by people whose emotional needs are not being met properly, can lead to imitating others whom they perceive as role models or role models.

When he admires other people, he will try to get a label attached to that person. This is done in the hope that he will get the same recognition as the recognition that the person he is imitating.

In fact, in certain situations, this person may be willing to change their physical form. This is done so that he can become really similar both physically and in character and attitude to the person he imitates.