Avoid lying to your partner about these 4 things, even for good

You, your partner, or anyone else would not like to be lied to, especially by your partner. Because in a relationship, you believe that everything needs to be said openly to prevent suspicion. However, there are times when you are forced to lie to your partner for one thing, but it is definitely for the good.

Despite the good intentions, as much as possible avoid lying to your partner. Especially when it concerns the following matters.

Why is there someone who is willing to lie to their partner?

Lying for the sake of alias white lie is often chosen as a shortcut for some. Even a psychologist from the United States, Susan Orenstein, Ph.D., revealed that it is normal to do this in a healthy relationship.

According to a study in the Western Journal of Speech Communication in 2009, there are four things that make someone willing to lie to their partner for good, namely:

1. Avoiding embarrassment
2. Reducing the risk of fighting with a partner
3. Avoiding an unwanted meeting
4. Ending a relationship

Yes, there are people who are willing to lie to their partners so they can end the relationship immediately. Usually, most people use the phrase “Sorry you are too good for me. I don't deserve you ”to his partner as a weapon so he could break up immediately.

This does not include lying for good (white lies), you know! The reason is, you do it only to protect your own feelings. In fact, the real purpose of "lying for good" is to save both of your feelings for your own purposes.

For example like this, a partner is willing to struggle in the kitchen to prepare your favorite meal tonight, but it turns out it tastes salty. As a result, you are forced to lie in front of your partner and say that their food is delicious.

This incident can only be categorized as white lies aka lying for good. Because, what you do is intended to please each other and make the atmosphere of your dinner both romantic and harmonious.

Avoid lying to your partner about this

As much as possible, be open to your partner. Whether it's good or bad news, always discuss it with your partner in order to get the best solution.

However, if you are forced to lie to your partner, you should avoid lying about the following things. Instead of pleasing your partner, this lie can actually damage the harmony of the two of you, you know!

Here are some lies that you should not tell your partner, namely:

1. "I'll call again later"

When you are beset by the insistent schedule of meetings and office work, you can't help but lie to your partner by saying that you will call him later. Be careful, this can actually trigger a fight, you know!

If you can't, you don't need to make promises like that. You may think that this can reduce your partner's anxiety a little. In fact, what happened was the opposite.

When in the end you can't fulfill that promise, believe that your partner will be very disappointed because you had hoped to be called by you.

2. "I will not glance at other women / men"

This one lie is probably the most often you or your partner do during the dating period. Yes, this is expressed in the hope that both of you will last and will not glance at other women or men.

When you call frequently or accidentally chat with the opposite sex, other than your partner, this means that you are unconsciously attracted to other people. In other words, you've lied to your partner about this.

You may be covering this up from your partner for fear that he will be angry. However, it's best to be open and talk about it as it is. Remember, honesty is more important than lies, even if it is labeled for good.

3. "We're just friends, nothing more"

It's natural for your partner to turn jealous when they see you close to work friends or other people. To fix this, you issue a mainstay stance by telling lies on this one.

You may intend to protect your partner's feelings from jealousy again. However, according to Psychology Today, telling these lies actually makes your partner even more jealous. Even if it's just a friend, whatever you do with that person will always be labeled negative and gradually erode the intimacy of the two of you.

4. "I promise I will not do it again"

You know that your partner doesn't like your habit of smoking, lazy bathing, or late pick-ups. But again, you can only make promises not to repeat it again so that your partner doesn't get angry.

In fact, you know that this is difficult for you to do because it is a habit. If that's the case, it's best to stop tricking your partner with false promises that you can't keep.

If you do this repeatedly, your partner will actually label you as an accomplished liar. Instead of saving the relationship from conflict, this can actually lead to new problems and escalate the fight for the two of you.