Dating broke up

In the twists and turns of dating, there will definitely come a moment where we are sometimes approached by doubts about our relationship with him. Are you really happy living with him? Do you really love him? Does he really love you? Or, are you and your boyfriend the type to be on and off?

To some extent, all of this is normal and usually only fleeting, not prominent enough to be taken seriously. However, for people with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), their doubts and fears can so obscure reality that it causes them to obsess over whether their partner is worthy enough for them or if they are a true soul mate God has sent for them.

You are one of them?

Recognize obsessive compulsive disorder in dating relationships

Obsessive compulsive disorder aka OCD is a mental disorder that causes a person to have an obsession that comes from certain thoughts, feelings, ideas, or sensations that triggers them to perform the same behavior over and over again (compulsive; ritual).

People with OCD have obsessive thoughts about the things that matter most to them. For some people hygiene is very important to them, so they are obsessed with sanitation and are always worried about contamination and germs. For others, it may be security that is their obsession, so that they are constantly preoccupied with worrying about being hurt or hurting someone else. Now, for some people, obsessive compulsive disorder can manifest itself in romantic relationships.

A person with OCD can develop romantic relationships with other people and it is clear from the perspective of the audience (and on the other's side) that their relationship is going well. However, these people are very obsessed with making sure that they really fall in love with their partner by constantly performing their signature ritual. They will have an obsession with their relationship (remember, not an obsession with their individual boyfriends) so they often experience distracting and stressful thinking about the strength of the relationship and the true quality and nature of their partner.

Obsession with OCD tends to be thought-provoking so that it can be difficult for others to detect. But obsession with a partner can also be seen from the actions taken compulsively to reduce the mental stress caused by these thoughts. In addition to the talent for experiencing OCD, obsessive thoughts that doubt partners can also come from misconceptions of partner figures found in media such as songs, films and novels so that they tend to have certain fictional expectations and find it difficult to accept the true nature and characteristics of their partner.

Signs and impact of OCD behavior on relationships

Repetitive or compulsive behavior as a sign that someone has OCD in a relationship can be manifested in various ways. A person with OCD does not think about how he can build a healthy and good dating relationship with his girlfriend, but instead will always think about or doubt some things related to his partner, such as:

• Does he deserve to be my partner? (Not arrogance to look down on others, but more of great doubt)

• Doubt his feelings for the partner

• Assess / compare the level of beauty / good looks of couples

• Questioning how much they want their partner as a sex partner

• Questioning long-term suitability

• Focus on the lack or negative aspects of your partner

• Comparing current and previous relationships - "better" or "worse"

In general, the behavior is categorized into several groups including:

Compulsive behavior aimed at partners

This can be multiple actions just to determine the strength of the relationship, sex drive, or emotional closeness - such as by having sex, telling them that they have doubts about their relationship, going on and off too often, or testing their feelings by approaching or paying attention to people others and compare them with a partner.

OCD compulsive encouragement can also involve strenuous efforts to check a partner's loyalty, such as repeatedly calling them, checking email or internet search history or constantly asking if they really mean it when they express their love.

Excessive avoidant behavior

This is an action that aims to distance yourself and feelings towards your partner both verbally and physically. This behavior also keeps triggers away from their partner's doubts, such as avoiding people they find attractive or ex-partners who can make them feel doubtful about their relationship.

Compulsive behavior to seek support from others

This is done by confirming the compatibility of the two of them, the appropriateness of the couple with him by constantly asking people around him without stopping. This is done to strengthen the belief of the person with OCD against the relationship.

Repetitive behavior is only done to deal with the burden of mental stress due to OCD symptoms

Any excessive behavior carried out by people with OCD will have an impact, and if it occurs in a relationship it will cause misunderstanding and conflict between partners that can lead to the end of the relationship. They also tend to feel guilty about the behavior, thoughts, and feelings they experience, but tend to do it again.

But for them, this repetition is not intentional to hurt the partner's feelings. For people with OCD, it is important to keep doing this ritual because dating is something they consider important in their lives so even thinking about ending it can be very stressful and depressing for them.

Repetitive (compulsive) behavior is one of the symptoms of OCD that presents itself as a self-defense technique to avoid this mental burden, or try to reduce it. Ironically, even though it is infected OCD not deliberately doing this, but by doing repetitive behavior such as expressing doubts about their relationship, it will indirectly give mental and emotional stress to their partner.

What can be done if your partner has OCD?

If you experience a similar problem, then you should make sure that your OCD condition is being experienced by recognizing the presence or absence of risk factors for OCD in your family or OCD disorders that have been experienced in the past. Basically, obsessive compulsive disorder can be managed by doing cognitive behavioral therapy. This therapy is needed to reshape thought patterns and responses to obsessive thoughts about the relationship or partner.

The most important thing you can do to avoid obsessive thinking is to change the focus of what is on your mind. Identify the conditions in which your thinking is most comfortable and less distracted by obsessive thoughts and focus on what caused them.