Effects of past trauma on adult relationships

Is your boyfriend too jealous that you feel hot and angry? Wait. Hold on to your anger first. It is likely that there are certain reasons behind all the traits and characteristics of the him that you think is annoying. It could be that all his behavior is a reflection of the effects of past trauma. How can the effects of past trauma affect relationships as adults?

Effects of past trauma on adult relationships

The effect of having been a victim of domestic violence (KDRT) or other past trauma, such as being a child broken home from a very young age, it is not only limited to having an impact on the emotional stability of the child.

Even though it has been for years, it turns out that the memory of this bad experience does not just disappear from memory. Maybe there is a piece of memory that is deeply engraved and imprinted in the mind, which then manifests in the appearance of a certain character or trait.

Reporting from Psychology Today, people who have childhood trauma tend to hide their feelings, feel inferior, so it is difficult to control their emotions. Experts argue that the trauma of a bad experience during childhood in particular can also make it difficult for a person to believe in others.

The impact can also spread to the child's ability to have a love affair in the future. This will not only affect yourself, but ultimately on the relationship between you and your partner in the future. Why?

Childhood trauma makes it easy for someone to become jealous or even possessive

Experts argue that people who have had great trauma as a child are more likely to feel it insecure . Insecure itself is interpreted as excessive and unnatural fear that haunts oneself.

Well, the meaning of taste insecure in a relationship it is more about the fear of losing or abandoning your partner. Thus, insecure people can become very protective or possessive because they are afraid of losing their loved ones. This tendency may be based on his previous experience as a broken home of parents who divorced because of infidelity.

It is also possible that the person is the opposite. The effects of past trauma may make him a passive person, or even have a tendency to play rough; whether it's physical, psychological, or verbal.

The effects of his past trauma will eventually affect the psyche of his partner. When you have a possessive partner because you have a trauma (known or not), of course you will feel tired of dealing with it yourself, right?

All the negative effects of childhood trauma will be transmitted to the partner and the relationship he is going through. As a result, it will be difficult for him to maintain a relationship.

Therefore, childhood trauma cannot be ignored and needs to be handled so that your relationship does not get affected.

So what to do?

To completely deal with trauma to yourself, you need the help of a third party, in this case a psychologist or psychiatrist.

No need to worry because no matter how dark the memory is, the effects of past trauma can be erased. Even if childhood wounds have changed you, it is still possible to repair them. You may not be able to recover 100 percent, but at least you can reduce the burden on your heart during this time

Changing the way you think through therapy, for example, can more or less help yourself to recover from trauma. As your childhood trauma is healed, you can slowly start building healthier, happier relationships as well.

However, you also need to be honest about your childhood experiences with your partner. No need to go into details right away. In the beginning, it might be difficult to describe the trauma that you have buried deeply.

Even so, remember that your partner has the right to know about your childhood trauma experience in order to both try to maintain the relationship that you are having.

Especially when your partner knows what triggers your character, he will also know how to behave and deal with you wisely. It is possible that he will help you in his own way.