3 Ways to fix a relationship that never ran aground before

A love affair is not only present in a beautiful story like a fairy tale. Sometimes, you have to be willing to swallow the bitterness of a separation for one reason or another. Even after breaking up, it is possible that the reason why you are still in love will strengthen you to want to go back to your ex-lover. In fact, there are many, you know, couples who have managed to endure marriage because they know how to repair the right relationship. Are you curious about how? Come on, look at the following tips!

It's broken, how come, still want to get back?

The decision to end a relationship that has been developed for so long certainly has to be carefully thought out. Likewise, the choice to reconcile with your partner after breaking up is certainly not as easy as turning your palm.

You may have come across someone or even yourself who said, "I'm already comfortable with him" or " Maybe it would be difficult, deh, find one who understands me, if not him ”. This is actually commonplace, because humans will actually look for the best person for him now and in the long term.

Marisa T. Cohen, PhD, a psychology lecturer at St. Francis College in New York, also added that maybe you would choose to stay away and find a replacement that is hoped to be better. But it's hard to deny, you don't find what you are looking for in that person because of feelings and thoughts that are still difficult to turn away from your ex-lover.

Finally, opening a new page with an ex is felt to be the best way after going through the complicated "drama" of love.

Here's how to fix a relationship after breaking up

If indeed you are thinking about getting back together with your ex, of course you will be thinking how to fix the relationship that previously ended. Now, after successfully convincing yourself to want to return to knitting love with your partner, who in fact is your ex, try to apply ways to improve this relationship so that the old mistakes don't happen again.

1. Make sure the previous problem has been resolved

Many people are trapped in off-and-on relationships, until they actually separate because they are unable to fix previous problems. It is like, they only have the "desperation" to reconcile with their ex without resolving the conflict that triggered the rift in the past relationship.

Of course you don't want this to happen, do you? Therefore, one way to improve the relationship when you are back with your ex is to ensure that the conflict that was previously resolved gets to its roots.

Take, for example, if you previously focused too much on your career to seem indifferent to the presence of your partner. Now try to be smarter in dividing your life priorities. Likewise, if you have been too demanding on your partner to be available whenever you need it.

In fact, he also has other interests to do, right? So, try to understand more and be able to put yourself in the best possible position.

2. Don't bring up the previous problem again

No more words, "It turns out that you haven't changed before, yes, you're still selfish" or "If it weren't for you, maybe we used to be. not will break up ”, and other statements that seem to corner the mistakes of the partner.

Instead of making your relationship better, constantly bringing up the bitter stories of the past will actually trigger another bickering that shouldn't exist. It is better if you make the previous problem as a valuable lesson by just taking the good lessons.

Whatever conflicts that arise in a new relationship after the turnaround, think of it as a new problem without having to bring up the past. Stick to the commitments you negotiated with before deciding to go back with your ex. If necessary, remember what convincing reasons you got to this stage.

3. Be open to what you feel

Naturally, if you have a fear that the previous problem will repeat itself. This is what may make you always try to cover up what you feel because you are worried that the relationship after the relationship will not go smoothly as expected.

But it's actually useless for you to think about the problem morning, noon, night, without trying to share it with your partner. Because after all, you are not alone in building this relationship. There are still couples who are ready to listen to all your complaints.

Don't just hope that your partner will understand on their own without a definite explanation. Because it is not impossible, the hobby of keeping grievances from this partner will actually cause your relationship to run aground again as before.