Table of contents:
- Dealing with angry partners without getting emotional
- 1. Cool your own head
- 2. Make him comfortable
- 3. Speak softly and in a low tone
- 4. Admit his anger
- 5. Stay still and listen
Fighting with a partner is a common thing, you could even say the spice of romance. But when it ends up getting angry, fighting is certainly not healthy anymore and must be stopped immediately. Then if you are the target of your partner's anger, what can you do immediately to cool the contents of his head?
Dealing with angry partners without getting emotional
Immediately take the following actions to relieve his anger.
1. Cool your own head
Relieving anger certainly cannot be with the same high emotion. Emotions are contagious. So, don't be easily provoked by emotions when your partner is angry. What is there, the situation is even getting worse.
Try to pause for a moment in the middle of your mouth-to-mouth to inhale and exhale deeply. Count slowly from 1-10 and calm yourself so you can think clearly.
2. Make him comfortable
As soon as you feel his emotions running high, immediately invite him to sit on the sofa or go outside to get some fresh air. For example, by saying, "Let's talk about this while sitting down, let's go." or “Just discuss this outside, let's go. Afraid of hearing the children in here."
Changing the atmosphere can distract him so that he has enough time to calm his thoughts for a moment.
3. Speak softly and in a low tone
Remember, emotions are contagious. However, don't let the wrong emotions catch on.
So instead of speaking in a high tone let alone screaming, lower your voice. Speak quietly, use a low volume and a low tone.
If you can rest easy, your partner will also over time realize that emotions are useless. He will also calm down and lower the volume of his voice.
4. Admit his anger
Anger is a reaction to dissatisfaction. It may be triggered by insecure, disappointment, shame, or betrayal.
Instead of saying, "Never mind! I'm tired of hearing you nagging all the time! ” or "Why, why are you angry? I should be grumbling! ” which can actually make the problem even worse, so when your partner is angry, admit his feelings.
Anger is a natural human emotion. Tell him in a loving and gentle way that you know he is angry. For example, by saying something like, "I know you are angry and disappointed with me…" or "I know you might be offended, disappointed, sad, or even angry. But I can't read your mind. Why are you angry?"
Statements like these can help a little to calm your partner's anger, and actually open up a more humane space for discussion.
5. Stay still and listen
After you ask a question and he answers it (although he may still be angry), it's best to be quiet and listen carefully. Interrupting the conversation while chatting normally will make bete , especially if you interrupt someone who is angry? Can the atmosphere get hotter.
So, it's better to just listen to his nagging until he feels satisfied enough and finally stops himself. Listening will also give you a better understanding of what the real problem is.
While listening, show your partner that you really sincerely listen with a word or two, such as "okay" or "yes I understand" but not in a corny tone, as well as from your facial expressions and body language.
Don't forget to apologize really from the heart if the source of the problem is your own.
