Table of contents:
- The cause of men refusing to have sex plus tips for dealing with it
- 1. Tired
- 2. Stress
- 3. Low libido
- 4. Depression
- 5. Experiencing sexual problems
- 6. Miscommunication
A million questions may be pacing in your mind as soon as your husband refuses your invitation to have sex. Don't panic just yet. Decreased sex drive is actually normal, and is not always the result of certain sex diseases or disorders, such as erectile dysfunction (impotence) for example. Reduced interest in sex is more likely if the two of you become very used to living together in the long term. Here are some of the most common reasons why your male partner refuses to have sex.
The cause of men refusing to have sex plus tips for dealing with it
1. Tired
Yes. Tiredness is the main and most common reason why many men decide to miss playing in bed at night. What's more, sex is a strenuous physical activity that requires a lot of energy and burns a lot of energy - in fact, it's almost the same as exercising.
A tired body is a sign that you need rest. That is why after being tired from activities all day, it is usually easier for you to fall asleep and choose to go to sleep right away, rather than having sex. The reason is, severe fatigue can actually make it more difficult to sleep, so that it will make your body sluggish the next day.
What can be done:If your partner is really tired, you should not force him to make love. Schedule your sex for another day. Alternatively, you can choose to have sex solo, aka masturbation for a while, or invite your partner to make out by masturbating together for example.
If he continues to feel tired for no reason, you should immediately consult a doctor to find the exact cause.
2. Stress
Stress also has an effect on sexual arousal. Your male partner may refuse to relate to stress because his mind is busy with the stress he is experiencing, it can be stress about work, financial problems, facing hard traffic jams, and maybe stress because of the pent-up emotions from a fight with you that ends up being tough.
The release of cortisol and adrenaline from stress that lasts for a long time can lower testosterone levels. This can interfere with sperm production and can cause temporary erectile dysfunction or impotence.
What can be done:
Invite your partner to talk about what causes stress, but not at bedtime. Also ask your partner what you can do to help him through these difficult times. Help the partner to solve his work problems, at least provide meaningful support for his emotional.
Having sex can actually help reduce stress. Sex will release many endorphins that create a sense of calm and happiness to suppress stress hormones.
You can try to create a romantic atmosphere and seduce your partner by engaging in intimate foreplay, such as kissing, touching, hugging, caressing your body, giving a hickey, to teasing, talking naughty, whispering, or complimenting her appearance.
The longer you spend both of you on foreplay, the more sex drive you get and the more intense the sensation of orgasm you will experience.
3. Low libido
Starting to enter the age of 30 years, male testosterone levels tend to decline which can affect his desire to have sex. The andropause condition that is often experienced when you reach the age of five can also cause testosterone levels to decrease. Low testosterone can make it difficult to get an erection or have trouble maintaining an erection, so your partner tends to choose not to have sex.
Although testosterone decreases frequently with aging, male libido can also decrease due to other things - for example the side effects of certain drugs (generally hypertension drugs and SSRI antidepressants), chronic sleep disorders such as sleep apnea, to certain diseases such as cancer.
What can be done:
Talk to your doctor about the possibility of getting hormone therapy to treat low testosterone problems. Most men with low testosterone will be prescribed testosterone gel to rub on their arms or shoulders.
For the time being, you can get around sexual activity with intimate foreplay techniques to keep the fire of your romance both burning warm. You can also watch a concert together, watch a movie, or even have a romantic dinner while repeating good memories in bed. Increasing intimacy does not only have to be done by penetrating the penis into the vagina.
4. Depression
Depression that is not handled can damage domestic harmony. The reason is, depression is one of the biggest sex drive killers. Depression makes the person feel depressed, miserable, and hopeless, so he may choose to better isolate himself from those around him and refuse to have sex with you. As many as 34 percent of men reported that their depression was the cause of their drastic decrease in sexual desire.
In addition, the side effects of antidepressant drugs can also reduce sex drive.
What can be done:
Ask your partner to take cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to treat their depression. As soon as possible. This therapy prioritizes efforts to eliminate negative thoughts and behaviors, replacing them with positive things. If necessary, consult your doctor to reduce the dose of the drug prescribed or change the type of drug he is taking.
Don't force yourself to have sex with a depressed partner. Making out without having sexual penetration can be an effective way to continue to ignite the fire of your love, such as holding hands, hugging, kissing or making out.
Keep in mind, depressed people usually feel lonely and isolated, making it difficult to communicate. So, it takes a lot more effort from you to help a depressed partner get out of his black hole.
5. Experiencing sexual problems
Most men who refuse to have sex have sexual problems that are hidden from them. The most common are erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. Both of these sexual problems make men tend to withdraw because they are afraid that their partners will be disappointed or feel embarrassed because they are considered not able to last long.
What can be done:
In most cases, impotence or premature ejaculation stems from a hidden psychological problem. Others may be caused by an underlying disease or condition, such as diabetes, hypertension, to heart disease.
It will not be easy to discuss this sexual problem. However, you need to talk to your partner and ask him or her to open up with you. Try to tell your partner that you love him for who he is. Next, make sure that you and your partner can solve this problem by asking the best advice from a doctor.
6. Miscommunication
Your partner may not feel connected to you emotionally. Daily household conflicts that lead to arguments can cause men to feel reluctant to have sex with you.
However, miscommunication can also occur when the two of you are in bed. For example, you as a woman are never satisfied and eventually choose to fake orgasm. Over time, this habit can affect a man's self-confidence so that he chooses to refuse to have sex. Or maybe the other way around. In fact, it is those who feel you cannot satisfy their sexual desires
What can be done:
First, resolve all conflicts and gossip that you both want to spill, but do it outside the bedroom. Invite your partner to discuss together with a cool head in order to find the midpoint of the problem and solution.
It is better if you and your partner also talk about your sex life openly. You can convey what makes you dissatisfied, and so can the person. Talk with your partner about what kind of flow of sexual intercourse you want each other to be. The most important thing is that both of them are obliged to be open and understand each other's conditions.
Sexual intercourse does not only involve being in good physical condition. To get true satisfaction, sex must involve a deep emotional bond. This can be achieved by doing the above.
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