Table of contents:
- Bad attitude that should not be tolerated
- 1. Underestimating and dropping characters
- 2. Manipulative attitude
- 3. Manipulate your insecurities
- 4. Does not want to listen
- 5. Treat you with contempt
- 6. Shows his emotions to you
- 7. Put your thoughts and feelings aside
When someone has been close to someone else for a long time, be it a boyfriend or a friend, he will tend to act the way he is according to his character. So usually you can see the various true qualities and pros and cons of the person's behavior without having to cover it up like when you first met. Because you are close and understand him inside and out, you may be able to tolerate all his bad character. Even so, there are some bad behaviors that are not and shouldn't be tolerated, for your own good.
Bad attitude that should not be tolerated
1. Underestimating and dropping characters
We all need criticism for lessons. However, good criticism is criticism that builds and motivates so that you can develop into a better person.
Criticism that seems belittling, ridiculing, and even dropping the character with unpleasant speech is not behavior that should be tolerated.
Harsh criticism usually begins with the words “You never…” or “You huh always… ”without any concrete explanation. Over time, speaking negative words can crush the trust and self-esteem of those who receive them.
Disdain can also be shown by not keeping your promises or paying attention to what you say.
2. Manipulative attitude
A manipulative person will control the people around him to fulfill what he wants. The perpetrator can do a variety of ways to make you the victim feel guilty and suspicious of himself.
This condition occurs when the victim realizes or knows something about the perpetrator that she doesn't want to admit to. While trying to discuss it, the perpetrator insisted on denying the truth and turning the accusation on the victim.
In this case the perpetrator changes the victim's perception that he is the real victim in the situation. The words "Ah, you're making it up", "Looks like you heard me wrong", "How come I was wronged? I told you already ”(when in fact I never did).
3. Manipulate your insecurities
This one method is similar to gaslighting but more is done to render you powerless, to stop you from speaking out, and to put you in control.
In this way, he tries to take advantage of the things he knows about you, such as being nervous when angry, being cowardly when challenged, and your other set of weaknesses.
In the early days, this behavior was difficult to see and detect. However, this attitude is a pattern he will continue to do throughout the relationship. Therefore, try to be sensitive and identify bad behaviors that you should not tolerate.
4. Does not want to listen
Have you ever come across a friend or partner who won't listen and refuses to discuss a problem between the two of you? If so, then you need to be aware of this bad attitude.
This bad behavior is included in the manipulative class. So don't beat yourself up by saying that you picked the wrong discussion time and so on. The fault lies not with you, but in the bad attitude shown by your friend or partner trying to avoid the conversation.
5. Treat you with contempt
Teasing, laughing, and making physical gestures like rolling your eyes to show his contempt for you are attitudes that you don't need to tolerate.
Every healthy relationship whether friendship or romantic relationship requires mutual respect and respect. Making word and attitude insults already shows that you need to avoid people with bad behavior that are working against you. Especially if your partner does this.
6. Shows his emotions to you
Dr. Craig Malkin, author of Rethinking Narcism, states that showing emotion is one of the narcissists' favorite tactics. Narcissists try to show their emotions and anger at you by clenching their fists and tightening their jaw muscles until they turn red. This way he tries to make you angry and dominate your feelings.
7. Put your thoughts and feelings aside
People who always put your thoughts and feelings aside either by laughing or not attaching importance to what you think you need to stay away from. The reason is that in a relationship listening to each other's opinions and feelings is an obligatory thing that should be done. If the opposite happens, it seems you need to rethink the relationship you are currently in, both with friends and lovers.
