Is it true that we are looking for a partner who looks like our own parents?

Many say a man will look for a partner who is similar to his mother, while a woman will look for a partner who is like her father. Similar here is not necessarily physically, but rather in the nature and nature of a person. However, is it true that we will look for a partner who looks like our own parents? Is there a theory or science that can explain this phenomenon? Come on, see the answer below.

What do we want when looking for a life partner?

Numerous studies have shown that many people tend to look for partners who are similar to their parents. In fact, men tend to choose partners like their mothers and women tend to choose partners like their fathers. Not only that, children whose parents are far away from them, for example a woman whose age is very different from her father also tends to like a man who is much older than her.

The similarity can be in terms of nature, it can also be from a physical point of view. Based on the research conducted, it turns out that men give a picture of a dream woman who looks like their mother when they were young, as well as women.

Uniquely, it turns out that the physical similarity between your partner and your parents is also closely related to the quality of your relationship with your parents. The better the relationship between children and their parents, the greater the tendency for a person to choose a partner who is physically similar to their parents.

Why does this happen?

Theory imprint could be the cause. Example imprint that is, when a duckling hatches, it will then continue to follow and "cling" to its mother, which is the first figure it sees.

It turns out that the human subconscious also does imprint towards their parents or guardians. That's why, unconsciously, they will "stick" or choose a partner who resembles their parent figure.

In addition, experts also believe in theory attachment (stickiness) whose principle is very similar to imprint. A child will bond and attachment to his parents in order to survive. Now, as you grow older, you will be more detached from the figure of your parents. So in order to survive, you will look for someone who can meet all your needs just as parents fulfill your needs. That's why you end up choosing a partner who is similar to your own parents.

What if the child's relationship with his parents is not good?

Even though the child's relationship with their parents is not good, it is possible for children to choose a life partner that is similar to their parents. This can happen unconsciously.

In fact, because you chose someone who is very similar to your parents, conflicts and problems that occurred with your parents can also reoccur with your partner. Let's say you had overprotective parents and you currently have an overprotective partner too. The problems you face with your partner are certainly not far from the problems you used to face with your own parents, namely issues of freedom and trust.

Therefore, if your partner turns out to have negative qualities from your parents in the relationship, your level of satisfaction in the relationship will be low.

Parents' education also influences the child's mindset in having an affair

Apart from the theory imprint and attachments, There is one important thing that can determine what kind of life partner you are looking for. This important thing is parenting or parenting. For example parenting style that is full of warmth and does not require a partner. This parenting style can apparently shape the child's mindset so that he will form a close and trusting relationship with his partner.

A child's relationship with parents that can make children feel comfortable and loved will also foster a sensitive and responsible nature in the child when he has relationships with other people.

However, if the child's relationship with his parents is not good, this will result in a child's character who is full of anxiety, is afraid of commitment, and has difficulty believing in a relationship.

Should we choose a partner who is similar to our own parents?

Although the nature of the parents is a factor in choosing a partner, there are other things that must be considered. For example, do you feel compatible with your partner, have the same mindset and goals or not, and whether you are happier with them or not.

Similarity in character or appearance to your parents alone cannot be used as a benchmark or benchmark in determining the ideal partner for you. In fact, it could be that you have a partner who is completely different from your parents, but the two of you are even more compatible with each other.

Regardless of whether or not your partner is similar to your parents, you also need to instill a thought that if both parties trust, respect, love, and are willing to commit, then the relationship can still be well established.