When your parents don't like your partner, here's how to intervene

Not all parents feel immediately compatible with and like their child's life partner. Sometimes there are many factors that give parents their own reasons why they don't like your partner even though they are married. Being in this condition is frustrating, because both your partner and your parents are equally important people in your life. However, try to mediate between partners who are not getting along with their parents in the following ways.

How to mediate between parents who do not get along with their partner

To mediate between parents who never get along and often argue with their partners, try:

1. Ask the exact reason

Parents must have special reasons why they do not like their child's partner. If you've never heard the exact reason, try asking right away.

You need to know why parents can't be nice to their partners. Without knowing the exact cause, it will be difficult for you to mediate and find a solution to this problem. Therefore, try to talk honestly and openly to parents.

Use a soft intonation when asking your parents this. Express your grief and confusion every time they and your partner interact. Then, ask him what your parents expect from you and your partner.

If in this case your partner also has the same annoyance, ask your partner the same thing. By knowing this from both parties, you can begin to plan the next steps to make the relationship between your parents and your partner more harmonious.

2. Say positive things to each other

When you find out that your parents don't get along with your partner, don't get annoyed and turn angry. Instead, you need to melt your parents' hearts in a subtle way.

Try to start by talking about each other's kindness when you meet. For example, when you visit your parents, insert a conversation about your partner's kindness that fits the context of the conversation.

For example, when talking about household assistants going home, insert a conversation that your partner really helps you at home. Tell your parents that you are grateful to be married to them because you are willing to work with them on household chores.

Conversely, you can also insert a chat about the strengths of parents in front of your partner. This method is expected to be able to fade feelings of dislike, both between parents and partners and vice versa.

Although initially you will not be responded to or considered indifferent, do not despair. Trust that the hearts of your parents and your spouse will be softened if you continue to do your best.

3. Spend time separately

Every now and then, you'll want to spend time off with your parents and partner together. However, if the plan continues to fail because your parents don't get along with your partner, there's nothing wrong with making a separate schedule. This means that when you spend time with your parents, your partner doesn't need to come along, and vice versa.

This is also done so that you can talk more intimately to your parents about your partner without feeling bad, and vice versa. However, when going out with each party you still need to tuck in the chat about this matter subtly.

Who knows, your speech will be heard by both parties when it is delivered in good language at the right time. That way, it is hoped that in the future the relationship between your parents and your partner can thaw out so that there is no more dislike on either side.

If nothing changes despite trying these efforts, it's time for you to need expert help. Seek advice from a psychologist or marriage counselor to find solutions to your current problem.