How to deal with a selfish friend

How to deal with a selfish friend may be a concern for those who experience it. Sometimes, your friend's selfish character can tire you out. Not infrequently, you choose to stay away from them because you are unable to compromise their traits.

However, is leaving them the only way to deal with selfish friends? Is there any other way to stay friends with them? Check out the full review below.

What are the characteristics of a selfish person?

Before you try to deal with a selfish friend, you should understand what a selfish person is. Literally, according to the Big Indonesian Dictionary, selfish means that people are selfish.

Quoted from Psychology Today, there are two main characteristics of this person, namely:

• Have excessive attention or feel exclusive to himself.
• Not caring about the needs or feelings of others.

Selfish people are not easy to spot. They are able to be friendly when they meet new people. Those who are selfish recognize that they have, to some degree, an unattractive quality of attitude.

Quoted from Everyday Health, selfish people have special characteristics, such as:

• Concerned with self-interest.
• Only cares about their needs and wants.
• Can't see other people's views.
• Don't care about other people.

We may all feel like we adopt the attitudes mentioned above, but selfish people always do it non-stop.

People who are very selfish can even lie or manipulate to achieve their own needs and wants. If you have a selfish friend who is very self-absorbed, he may be dealing with narcissistic personality disorder.

However, being selfish is not always bad, as long as it is done at the right time. Women's Health summarizes four situations that require a selfish attitude, namely:

• When you need help
• When you make a wish in bed
• When you set the right time to get work done
• When you have craved “alone time” for a long time.

How to deal with selfish friends?

Dealing with selfish friends can be overwhelming and frustrating, especially when you have a serious relationship with them. Those who are self-centered tend to treat others badly because they perceive friends as merely objects of indulging their desires.

If walking away from them is a last resort, there are four ways to deal with selfish friends:

Understand where they come from

Understanding does not mean letting someone be selfish as they please. However, if you can find out what motivated them to do that, you will have a better chance of responding in a way that reduces selfishness.

no offense

Just because someone says you're selfish doesn't mean you really did something wrong. Selfish friends may want to do what's right for them, but not for you.

Don't make assumptions

We often make assumptions about what motivates people for better or worse, but those assumptions are often inaccurate.

To avoid wrong assumptions, you can ask selfish friends to explain a few things. Some of it may be a matter of how selfish they are.

Remember that some selfishness is healthy

Healthy selfishness not only reminds your selfish friend to take care of themselves, but also to take care of you as his friend.

Even unconditional caring and generosity is not truly selfless. If it makes you happy to do something for someone else, it's still selfish. However, that didn't make it bad.

Some of the other ways to deal with selfish friends also include the following:

• Don't try to change their nature
• Don't get into their game
• Remain realistic and aware that they will not consider your needs.