Heart

When arguing or arguing with your partner, you may often not realize that you say negative words to him. Of course all of this because of the overwhelming emotions at that time. However, there are some words that you should not say to your partner during an argument, or else you and your partner are on the line. What's that unspoken word?

Don't say "never again" when you fight with your partner

According to Dan Neuharth, PhD, marriage and family therapist, the words "never again" can backfire for relationships. For example, when you and your partner have a problem, then you inwardly mutter "I will no longer depend on you", "I will no longer allow myself to believe his words too much", and a number of other sentences.

Most people swear by saying "never again" in an unconscious and emotional state. When you deal with disappointment by protecting yourself with a promise like that, you will usually keep your anger going and choose not to solve it.

You will be silent a thousand languages ​​and keep it tight without discussing it with your partner. Maybe you don't realize it but these words will fill your mind which can actually damage your relationship and your partner permanently.

However, it's important to understand that the word "never again" is not meant to mean an abusive relationship where you are the victim. Instead, you are obliged to say the word "never again" if you are in such a relationship. You are obliged to say "I will no longer allow myself to be tortured by him."

Neuharth says the word “will no longer” is meant for people who always use the word when even the real trivial problem can be resolved.

Based on the patient's cases that he has worked with, the power of the word "never again" has a profound effect on the relationship. Usually, those who feel that they are victims will keep it for years and instead make the problem never resolved, leading to separation.

Talk about all the problems with your partner

Neuharth says the first step you need to take when you have a problem is not to protect yourself with the word "never again" but to talk about it openly. Tell your partner about your views on the problem and how you feel.

It's not easy, maybe your partner will act like he is defending him and not want to know how you feel. However, convince your partner that what you are doing is a way to make the relationship better.

When you agree to have a relationship, you and your partner should lower each other's egos and make "me and you" become "us". So that all the problems that come are resolved for the purpose of mutual happiness. Remember, every problem that comes cannot be resolved by itself without a solution from both parties.

Eliminate toxic thoughts that are on the mind. The word "never again" is one of the poisons that can make a relationship unhealthy. Instead, instill in yourself that the most important thing you should start growing is good communication to avoid unhealthy relationships.

Honest and open communication can repair a relationship that may have been damaged. Talking about each other's opinions and feelings when experiencing problems can make you and your partner understand that a good relationship needs to be worked on.

Think of problems as lessons and tests to strengthen the relationship between you and your partner. So, instead of saying "Never again", it would be much better for you to encourage yourself with "Let's try again".