How not to fight with your partner due to the same thing

Do you often fight with your partner because of the same problem? In fact, most couples fuss about the same thing. About money, household chores, intimacy, and other things that are the source of the problem. According to relationship expert Sheryl Paul, MD quoted from the Huffington Post, many couples argue the same thing every day because they have not learned how communication should be built.

Therefore, quarrels occur over and over again due to the same things and are not resolved. So, how do you solve the same problem with your partner?

Tips for solving the same problem when fighting with a partner

Here are various ways you can apply if you always fuss over the same things with your partner, such as:

1. Try lowering the ego

When fighting with your partner, you may find it difficult to control your emotions, so you tend to have a high tone of voice at that time because you follow your ego.

If you want the problem to be resolved immediately, try to speak heart to heart. Try to get your partner to talk in a gentle tone without being overly harsh.

Remember, the most important thing is that you and your partner's problems are resolved, not concerned with the ego. Learn to empathize with your partner and don't just look at problems from your point of view, but also from your partner's point of view.

2. Understand that not all problems have an immediate solution

Who doesn't want the problem to be resolved quickly and completely, of course you and your partner will too. However, sometimes there are some problems that cannot be resolved in a short time, it even takes several stages of completion to finally finish.

In fact, according to The Gottman Institute, research institutes on relationships in America have found evidence that around 69 percent of problems in relationships cannot be solved quickly.

If this is the case, you and your partner should learn to try to accept and relieve pain so that the issue will not be debated in the future.

3. Avoid blaming each other

Blaming each other when fighting with a partner is usually inevitable. Unfortunately, you and your partner must realize that blaming is not the way to solve problems, it just makes things worse.

If one another blames each other then your common sense will be covered by ego. As a result, you continue to blame your partner for feeling that he or she deserves to be blamed for this problem.

If in fact your partner is wrong, you are still not advised to blame him with harsh accusations. It would be much better if you focus on solutions rather than having to waste energy blaming your partner constantly.

4. Remind yourself of love and attraction to your partner

As you continue to argue about the same things every day, you will likely lose interest in the relationship you are in. If so, try to slowly cultivate that interest again.

This is because couples who are attracted to each other generally have happier relationships than those who are not. Those who attach importance to happiness and relationship goals usually find it easier to put their personal egos aside for the sake of common interests.

Try starting to get back to the little attention you used to give to your partner. For example, asking how her days were at work or going to your favorite places on a date and reminiscing about what made you fall in love with each other.

5. In essence, discuss all problems together

When you fight with your partner over something, maybe you haven't really discussed it together. Whatever the case, you should discuss it carefully first.

Express each opinion and then find a middle way if both of them disagree. Actually, all the problems that come in your relationship, both to cultivate and improve relationship harmony.

So, practice your communication with your partner and discuss everything together.