Table of contents:
- Various reasons a person stays in an unhappy relationship
- 1. Unconscious fear
- 2. Denying conscience
- 3. Lack of self-freedom
Romance relationships, whether dating or married, should ideally be undertaken to bring happiness to both parties. But unfortunately, not a few who actually feel trapped. They feel that they are no longer happy but continue to live it for various reasons. What is behind a person's decision to stay in an unhappy relationship?
Various reasons a person stays in an unhappy relationship
Quoted from Psychology Today, Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT, a marriage and family therapist, said there are three common causes that make a person stay in an unhappy relationship, namely:
1. Unconscious fear
The desire to stay in an unhappy relationship may come from a fear within you that you were never even aware of.
There are many things that can trigger this, such as fear of being single again after being comfortable living in a partner for a long time or fear that you will not find a better replacement than him. You may also worry about the stability of your socio-economic future if you are no longer with him, especially if you have children with him.
Others may feel hesitant about separating because they are waiting for the realization of the sweet promises made by their partners in the past. Or, you choose to stay in this relationship because you feel you can change yourself and your partner for the better.
Fear and insecurity it continues to haunt your mind, leaving you feeling that you have no choice but to hang on. This is what then overcomes the unhappiness you actually feel.
2. Denying conscience
Many people who choose to stay in relationships are unhappy because they constantly deny their conscience. They choose to deny the fact that is already so obvious because they have the false hope that everything will be okay in the future.
This can be characterized by tolerating and forgiving a partner's bad behavior. Yes. This habit is a very common form of denial by many people. You feel that over time your partner can and will change. You just need to tolerate and wait for it even though deep down you already feel very hurt by what your partner is doing because he keeps repeating it.
Often times you also ignore this hurt and hope that your partner will realize, regret, and change for the better. Even though the facts are not certain.
3. Lack of self-freedom
A person who has freedom of himself fully understands the extent of his capacity and what he needs physically and emotionally, and is able to fulfill it independently.
Well, the lack of self-freedom makes someone sometimes too dependent on their partner. This is because what is done is usually arranged in such a way by the partner. Over time, getting used to living like this will make you feel trapped and have no freedom. But on the other hand, you want a safe relationship without conflict by obeying all the wishes of the partner that is told to him.
This lack of self-authority is what sometimes makes a person feel unhappy in their relationship. They actually have a fear of losing their identity. Unfortunately, they are much more afraid to leave the relationship they are in.
