Marriage with different ages, the challenges and benefits you can get

Marriage between generations or between couples who have a different age difference (10 years or more) is a normal thing. Every individual actually has the right to choose anyone to be his life partner.

However, marrying someone of a very different age, either younger or older, is a big decision. The reason is, psychologically, intergenerational marriages have different conflicts with couples in general so that it requires couples to understand each other more deeply.

Challenges in different age marriages

It is undeniable that marriages with different ages do have the potential for different marital conflicts compared to married couples whose age is relatively the same age. There are several things that may need to be discussed and discussed carefully when deciding to marry someone of different generations.

Couples of different generations are prone to experience conflicts related to psychological and social development. That is, different ages, different psychological problems, guidance, and their roles in the social environment.

Take examples of the potential for conflict in intergenerational marriages in general with the age gap of much older male partners. Husbands aged 40-65 have reached mature emotional development so that their mood swings are more stable. Meanwhile, the wife who is 20-30 years old still has a young spirit that is free and full of dynamism.

Husbands can find it difficult to understand or adapt to change mood wife in his daily life. In addition, a husband who prefers quiet at home may find it difficult to follow the lifestyle of his wife who prefers to spend time outside. Moreover, he can be disappointed because his wife often leaves the household chores.

In the case of marriage to an older wife, the younger husband may feel intimidated or lack confidence in the relationship. This feeling usually arises because at that time, the husband was still trying to pursue a career, while the wife was more established, even at the peak of his career.

Understanding the root of the problem, the key to marriage between different ages

Conflicts in marriages that involve couples with very different ages can actually be resolved by understanding the basis of the conflict problem. Generally, this is rooted in psychological and social developmental problems depending on age development.

When referring to the theory of psychosocial development from German psychologist Erik Erikson, an individual will experience different crises at each stage of his development.

For people aged 20-30 years, usually experience anxiety about the certainty of a career and finding the ideal partner. At this stage, a person tends to experience an identity crisis which makes him often feel isolated from the social environment and lonely.

Meanwhile, for people who have entered the age stage of 40-65 years the goal is to find meaning in life. People at this age are more focused on how the profession they have lived so far and to what extent they are able to be of use to those around them.

A crisis that tends to be experienced is feeling anxious if you are not doing anything useful or living a monotonous life. They are also afraid of losing their loved ones. This condition is also known as the midlife crisis.

By recognizing the psychological problems and social demands of the couple's age, you can better understand the hopes, forms of commitment, and concerns that your spouse displays in a marriage relationship with a long age gap.

The benefits of marriage are different generations

Generally, those who decide to get married have ages that tend not to differ much. On studies from journals American Psychology Association In 2019, for example, it is known that the average age distance of couples in America is 3 years with the age of the male partner being older than the woman.

Even so, there is no standard age distance for the ideal couple that ensures a lasting marriage. In fact, this can bring benefits.

In a study conducted by Purdue University, it was found that women who had husbands who were much older felt happier in marriage than married couples who did not have a big age difference.

One of the aspects that determines the happiness of this long age gap marriage is financial stability. Apart from being mature in terms of emotion and psychology, men aged 45-60 years are generally well-established economically so that the necessities of life that require a lot of money, such as a house and a vehicle, can be fulfilled.

Psychologically, being married to an older person, whether for a boy or a girl, can create a feeling of security for a younger partner. This is because older people have a lot of life experience so that they can become role models and protectors.

This advantage also reciprocates in older couples. Because he often looks for meaning in life, he will feel that he is valuable if he can help others, especially his partner.