Table of contents:
- Keeping secrets is different from privacy
- So, is it okay to keep secrets from your partner?
- Communication and openness are the keys to a harmonious relationship
You must have a secret that is kept only to yourself. Sometimes the secret is considered a privacy that no one else should know, including your partner. However, many say that in a relationship there should be no secrets at all. Does every secret need to be told to your partner? What happens if you keep a secret from your partner? Come on, look at the various considerations below.
Keeping secrets is different from privacy
Not everyone feels completely comfortable opening up, even to their partners. Especially in the early days of a relationship. So do not be surprised if there are some secrets that you keep tightly.
The secrets of a relationship can vary. For example, a traumatic experience in the past, being disappointed with a partner's behavior, shopping for favorite items secretly without the partner's knowledge, cheating, and so on. However, secrets are often confused with privacy. In fact, these two things are different.
Privacy is something that is your right and personal business. For example a password (password) your social media accounts or ATM PIN. When this privacy is violated, you have the right to be offended or angry because it is all your personal property and authority, not the rights of others.
Meanwhile, confidentiality is information that you hide, mainly because it involves someone else. This could be because you fear the repercussions if the information is found out by others. For example, you have had an affair and you hide this information because you don't want your partner to get hurt and leave you.
Simply put, the difference between keeping secrets and privacy lies in the impact on others. Ask yourself, "If this other person found out, would he or she react negatively?" If the answer is yes, then this is a secret.
So, is it okay to keep secrets from your partner?
No matter how trivial the secrets you keep can still erode the intimacy of your relationship, even if slowly. Keeping secrets from your partner means you don't trust your partner yet. The longer you keep secrets from your partner, the longer you will bury your true self.
Reporting from the Huffington Post, recent research shows that 1 in 5 people keep big secrets such as infidelity or financial problems from their partners. In fact, a quarter of all study participants had kept secrets for more than 25 years. Meanwhile, 1 in 4 people admit that they keep secrets because things that are hidden can threaten their marriage.
Two research experts, Hugh Follet Ph.D. and George Abraham, Ph.D. agrees that deliberately hiding important things related to your partner will undermine your relationship. The reason is, keeping a secret or lying to your partner can erode their trust in you. Your partner is always in doubt, when you are really honest and when you are hiding something behind him.
Communication and openness are the keys to a harmonious relationship
To keep your relationship harmonious and away from bickering, try to open up to each other. Tell each other's secrets, without judging each other. Of course, this has to be done with a cool head and mutual compromises to solve the problem.
Consider every honesty you have both tried to convey, the extent to which that secret affects your relationship. Try to give and receive feedback on each other's mistakes.
However, you alone can choose when is the best time to reveal the secret to your partner. Do not keep it for too long, but also avoid revealing secrets with the intention of hurting or threatening your partner.
Healthy relationships are built on trust and honesty. You don't want your partner to keep secrets from you, do you?
