Fantasy of having same sex, does it mean that I am gay?

Of the many types of sexual fantasies that exist, you may be wondering whether you like to imagine having same-sex sex, whether it's a man with a man or a woman with a woman, it's natural or not. Even though you believe you are a heterosexual alias like the opposite sex. Do same-sex fantasies mean that you are actually gay or lesbian?

Where do sexual fantasies come from?

Having sexual fantasies does not necessarily mean that someone is abnormal. Fantasy itself is the mental ability or activity to imagine something, especially things that are impossible, never imagined before, or beyond common sense.

Fantasy can also be defined as a fun situation / scenario that you think about and you want to happen, but that is not possible or possible to happen. For example, like when you imagined being a King or Queen who lived in a magnificent palace above the clouds when you were a child.

Fantasy can arise because it is stimulated by many things from outside and inside. Starting from personality, imagination and curiosity, to being stimulated by stories from other people, reading books, films, pictures, music. and so forth.

In fact, there are not a few people who do not know the origin of the causes of their sexual fantasies. Because there are also fantasies that can arise spontaneously without being planned and not being aware of beforehand.

Fantasy of having same sex sex when I was straight , is this normal?

Having sexual fantasies is normal and normal. However, it is not that easy to immediately conclude whether it means that you are genuinely gay or lesbian just because you fantasize about same-sex sex. This is also supported by a study from a group of Boise State University research teams published in an online journal The Journal of Sex Research.

This study interviewed nearly 500 heterosexual (same-sex) women who had fantasies of same-sex sex, had feelings for other women, had kissed lips with women at least once, and who had experimented sexually with other women before.

Although all of the above factors lead to the "characteristics" of homosexuality, most of the women involved in the study explicitly stated they were straight and are only attracted to men, both romantically and sexually. Their tendency to imagine or approach other women is only limited to affection for other women and also to appreciate women's bodies.

Fantasy is not reality

Apart from that, these women cannot put themselves in situations that require them to have serious romantic relationships with other women.

Neither do they think they are serious about initiating same-sex relationships even after being asked to ponder possible alternatives. Even with some women who have tried experimenting with same-sex sex; they admit that they actually felt strange about the experience afterward.

Fantasy does not mean a reality, nor does it have to be turned into real. Not everything you fantasize and imagine about sex is really what your conscience desires, says Elizabeth Morgan, a psychology professor who was also involved in the research.

Therefore, you don't need to immediately panic and brand yourself as a homosexual after imagining sex with the same sex.

So, what makes someone gay or lesbian?

What causes a person to be gay or lesbian is not yet known. The factors that determine human sexual orientation are believed to originate from a number of complex phenomena.

The various modern scientific theories that have developed so far show that homosexuality is more or less determined in the womb thanks to a special genetic code called Xq28 which distinguishes homosexuals from heterosexuals.

Some other researchers theorize that the predisposition to homosexuality may be influenced by childhood trauma and other environmental factors.

If I'm "normal", can I be gay later?

Many people still think that homosexuality and heterosexuality are two opposite ends. In fact, human attraction is a complex thing.

For example, some men may perceive themselves as heterosexual, but have an intellectual, emotional, or platonic attraction to other men. They are attracted to men who are strong and intelligent personalities, but are not physically interested in sexual intercourse. This can be considered pure attraction and is not necessarily defined as a tendency to homosexuality.

Some researchers believe an individual's sexual orientation tends to emerge from birth and remain unchanged throughout his life. Even so, a person can become aware of their sexual orientation at various moments in their life. While others are aware of their sexual preferences from an early age, certain people only begin to understand and embrace their sexual orientation in adulthood.

In essence, only you know and understand who you really are. This is a process of self-reflection that can occur when someone questions personal sexual orientation. This doesn't mean that imagining same-sex sex will definitely make you gay, lesbian or bisexual.