Table of contents:
- Why don't you want to have children?
- Still enjoying time together
- Financial stability
- Want to maximize social life
- Worried about not being a good mother
- Is having children scary?
- Have a new life
- Involved in every development
- An unexpected future
- Community stigma
Building a family is everyone's dream. After marriage, having children seems to be a must. There are couples who, after marriage, are ready to have children immediately, some still want to delay having children, for various reasons. As a woman, having children is a gift, it's complete when you become a mother. But being a mother is not an easy thing, or something that can be done carelessly. That is also one of the reasons for women carrying out the program of having children, so that mentally they are ready to be parents. There are also women who have to wait to have children. However, it is not uncommon for women to choose not to have children at all.
What are their reasons?
Why don't you want to have children?
There are many reasons why a married couple does not want to have children:
Still enjoying time together
Usually, some newly married couples still want to enjoy time together. This can also be caused by routines that are both busy, so that the time for the two of us still wants to be felt longer. Not a bad thing, to balance roles in the family, getting to know each other is an important thing to do. Not a few women decide to become housewives, but not a few also decide to keep working. Balancing a new role after marriage is very important for women. So by having time together with a partner, it makes women more mature in achieving the vision and mission of having a family.
Financial stability
Being a housewife or a worker both have a certain level of stress. Based on NICHD data Study of Early Child Care and Youth Development (SECCYD), being a parent means we have to focus on aspects of mental health, dealing with conflicts between work and family, being involved in child development in school, and other sensitivities regarding parenting . If a person's emotional level is not ready, this will greatly affect the child's family and cognitive development. So choosing not to have children might make sense.
Want to maximize social life
Intimacy and household harmony accompanied by a satisfying social life will make life happier. After marriage, there will usually be changes in social life. Having new responsibilities such as having children is not easy, because it creates restrictions on social life, such as not being able to hang out with friends too often.
Worried about not being a good mother
Today's children live in a competitive age. They are taught to always be ahead and have innovation. The notion of a "good mother" emerges, when the child achieves achievement. People will praise their parents for being educated. Likewise, when their children are naughty, people will blame their parents. When choosing not to have children, women need not be afraid of that assumption.
Is having children scary?
Seeing the positive side of not having children makes women think twice about having children. However, does having children really mean having a terrifying responsibility?
Have a new life
Having children is a new journey as a woman. There is a new and different life from before. The journey is a pity to miss, because as parents, we will enter into the world of children's imaginations, see their development. When we were young, we still had the energy to share our focus on children. Then the new responsibilities aren't that bad.
Involved in every development
Indeed, sometimes women are haunted by failure as mothers to educate their children better. In fact, educating children is the duty of two parties. Being involved in a child's development from childhood to adulthood can be a wonderful thing. Like we plant a flower, then watch its development until the flower grows. It will be fun.
An unexpected future
It feels really worrying when plans go unpredictable. Having children can lead to unexpected directions. As women, we don't know what to expect from raising children.
Community stigma
There is a stigma in society that demands that women have children. Indeed, there is no problem breaking the stigma. But it can be stressful when close friends have children, or the closest relatives have cute children. This will increase the mental burden on women.