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Have you ever admired someone public figure you don't know, from the very beginning fan usual, until you can't stop thinking about it for a long time? Does this mean that you are in love with your idol? Or maybe you are just obsessed?
Love is an emotion that has the power to release all other emotions, and can restore us from the sad conditions in our lives. But what happens when the love that is present actually damages and invites negative emotions such as fear, anxiety, or anger? The result is obsession.
When a person starts to obsess, he doesn't want to admit that he actually has an obsession with something or someone, because the word obsession is considered a bad thing. But the fact is, many of us are obsessed with something.
Some of us may be obsessed with clothes, others obsessed with food, others with appearance or obsessed with their work, even with someone we idolize. What is clear, as Dr. Carmen Harra, PhD, an intuitive psychologist on her website CarmenHarra.com What we need to understand is that obsession can never be something positive.
"Even if we are obsessed with helping the poor or spreading love, which is a positive thing, there should still be no thoughts or actions that dominate our lives to the point where we only live for them," said Harra.
The word "obsession" comes from the Latin "obsidere", which means "to sit in it, or to inhabit". The people we become obsessed with are like inhabiting our brains. They are the main concern that surrounds our minds.
Obsession can affect our thinking
When obsession dominates us, it will steal our will and dilute all the pleasures of life. We will become ignorant when our mind repeats the same lines, pictures, or words. In chat, we have very little interest in what other people say, and only talk about what we are obsessed with, not being aware of what impact it will have on others.
As said Darlen Lancer, JD, MFT, marriage and family therapist, and expert in relationships and codependency PsychCentral , obsessions have different strengths in each person. When the obsession is only mild, we can still work and control ourselves. When the obsession gets more intense, our minds will focus on our obsession.
What needs to be considered is that obsessions can affect our thinking. Our thoughts run in circles, feel anxious, fantasize, or try to find an answer. They can take over our lives, so we can forget hours, sleep, or even days, and we get sidetracked from fun and productive activities.
Obsession can paralyze us. Sometimes it encourages us to behave compulsively like repeatedly checking email or social media. We lose control of ourselves, our feelings, and our ability to think logically and solve problems. This kind of obsession is usually controlled by fear.
There are so many obsessions that can have a negative impact on us, but there is only one way to stop them. "The best way to stop obsession is to come to our senses," explained Lancer briefly.
5 steps to controlling obsession
It might be a little difficult at first if you immediately try to get rid of your obsession with yourself, no matter what. Starting from the obsession with clothes, food, women, even idol actors or singers.
However, Alex Lickerman, M.D., physician in general internal medicine and assistant vice president for Student Health and Counseling Services at the University of Chicago, reveals several steps in controlling obsession, as he writes in PsychologyToday .
- Divert your attention. Force yourself to tame your obsession by ignoring it. Find something more attractive and comfortable to distract you from the obsession, to give you a break from your obsession. This will help you remember that there are other things in life that are more important. Read novels, watch movies, or help out stressed friends. Do something that gets you out of your own mind.
- Complete pending work. Sometimes obsessions keep us from doing things. Maybe obsession makes us unable to finish reading a book, doesn't focus on doing assignments, or doesn't pay attention to friends who need help. Take the time to focus on one goal, and create new goals as they are achieved.
- Focus on your biggest goals. Find your short-term and long-term goals in life. And if you can find a purpose in life that can inspire you, you will be able to bring yourself back to reality when obsessive thoughts strike you.
- Do sports that are fun. Do whatever physical activity is fun for you and can distract from your obsession. You can do meditation, join karate, or dance. Take a lot of time, because over time the obsession will go away on its own.
- Listen to what other people tell you. If you have close friends or family who are worried about your obsessions, they may be right. Open your ears and mind to what they tell you.
