Do you need to be honest with your partner about past relationships?

When you are in a relationship, honesty and openness are two important foundations that need to be planted from the start. These two things are the keys to a healthy and happy relationship. Over time, each party can tell their personal life to each other. Starting from childhood memories, family polemics, to questions about former pasts. But apart from the number of exes you have, is it necessary to be honest about other aspects of past relationships with new partners?

Do you need to be honest with your partner about past relationships?

Past romantic history is often seen as a sensitive topic of conversation. Not a few people are also confused whether this topic really needs to be raised or not.

This is especially so if the topic specifically concerns a history of sexual activity, violence in relationships, and other vulnerable problems.

The main reason is because he is worried that this discussion might offend his partner, make him feel inferior, or actually change his view of ourselves. But if it is not discussed, this can be on your mind because you feel you are keeping something from your partner.

So, is it necessary to discuss your past relationships, including trauma, to a new partner? The answer depends on you. Maybe yes, maybe no.

Telling past relationships with new partners is not something that can be forced. Even so, you also have to be prepared with all the consequences. Especially if your past is not "clean" enough.

What are the considerations?

The plus is, your new partner can certainly get to know and understand you further. This conversation can also be an opportunity for him to learn to treat you better.

Apart from that, this can also be a moment to build trust and openness with one another. If you see that you dare to tell the truth, your partner will likely be moved to do the same.

According to Tyra S. Gardner, Ph.D, a psychotherapist and relationship therapist, openness can strengthen your inner bond with your partner in the long run.

On the other hand, being honest with your partner about the past also has drawbacks that may need to be considered. When you share all your bad things in the past, maybe your new partner doesn't take it well.

This can lead to him later changing the way he views or treats you. There is also the possibility that he may consider continuing this relationship in the future because he is unable to accept your past.

Find the right time to talk

If you decide to be honest with your partner about the past, find the right time to talk about it.

When your partner asks you directly, invite your partner to sit together in a calm and comfortable condition. After that, only then tell him what you want to share with him.

However, you should also understand the character of your partner first. The reason is, there are types of people who are just too sensitive to receive information about the past.

There are also people who prefer not to know rather than having to listen to information that could hurt them.

You also don't need to tell in great detail if you think the topic will hurt your partner. Let only you know and make this a lesson for the future.