Table of contents:
- 1. “Good job!”
- 2. "It's okay, next time you can win, really"
- 3. "It doesn't hurt, ah" or "It's okay" when the child is injured
- 4. "Hurry up, please!"
- 5. "I'm on a diet"
- 6. "We don't have money to buy that stuff"
- 7. "Don't want to talk to strangers"
- 8. "Watch out!"
- 9. "You can't eat chocolate unless you finish lunch"
- 10. "Here mother / father help"
You probably already know that words like, "Watch out, mom, report to dad!" or "Why aren't you like your brother?" is a bad thing to say to your child. But there are many more sentences to avoid, for the good of you and your little one.
1. “ Good job! ”
Research shows that throwing out commonly used words like "Smart kid!" or "Very good!" every time your child has mastered a skill, it will make him rely on your praise rather than on his own motivation. Of course you still need to compliment him with these words, but do so when he actually does something worthy of the praise, and make the compliment more specific. Instead of using " Good job! "After he played football with his friends, say," You got a really good shot. I'm glad you got along with your teammates."
2. "It's okay, next time you can win, really"
It's true, you need to comfort him if he experiences disappointment or defeat. However, these words can also make him feel the pressure to win or become good at it. It could be misinterpreted by your child that you expect him or her to win or to become an expert in the skill. Instead of saying these things, encourage your child to work hard and continue to improve their abilities, and appreciate their efforts no matter what.
3. "It doesn't hurt, ah" or "It's okay" when the child is injured
When your child's knee is injured, and he is crying, your instincts may want to assure him that he is not very sick. But saying that she should feel fine would only make her feel even worse. The child is crying because he is not okay. Your job is to help him understand and deal with his emotions, not to ignore them. Try giving him a hug and letting him know that you understand how he is feeling right now with "Ouch, shocked, huh?" Then ask him if he's okay.
4. "Hurry up, please!"
It's time to go to school but your child is still playing with his food, hasn't put on his shoes, and will be late for school again. Yet exclaiming "fast!" instead it will stress him out. Soften your tone of voice and say, “We get ready sooner, let's go!” Explaining that you and your child are a team that has the same goal. You can also replace it by making the game "Let's race, who can wear shoes first!"
5. "I'm on a diet"
Worried about your excess weight? Don't let your child find out. If your little one sees you worrying about your weight every day and hears you talk about how fat you are, he or she may have an unhealthy body image. It's better if you say, "I only eat healthy food because I want to be healthier." When you say sports-related things, don't make it negative. "Geez, I'm lazy to go to the gym" was a clear sound as a complaint, but "Wow, great weather. Jogging, ah! " can inspire your child to follow you.
6. "We don't have money to buy that stuff"
It is very easy to use this excuse so that children no longer nag for the latest toys. But doing so can be misconstrued that you are in a bad financial position, and children may feel worried. Older children can also use this as a "weapon" when you later buy things for yourself (or for the house) at a higher price. Choose an alternative way of saying the same thing, for example, "We can't buy it because we're saving for something more important." If your child persists, you can start a conversation about how to save and manage his allowance.
7. "Don't want to talk to strangers"
This is a difficult concept for young children to digest. Even if there were people he didn't know, he wouldn't think that this person was a “stranger” if that person were very nice to him. Plus, children can misunderstand these rules and refuse assistance from the police or fire department they don't know.
Instead of warning him about the dangers of strangers, give him several scenarios, for example, "What would he do if a stranger offered him candy and wanted to take him home?", Have him explain what he is going to do and guide him to do the thing. right.
8. "Watch out!"
Saying this to your child when he is doing something risky will distract him from what he is doing, so he will lose focus. If your child is playing climbing and you are worried, move next to him in case he falls, but stay still and calm.
9. "You can't eat chocolate unless you finish lunch"
This sentence seems to emphasize that lunch is a difficult thing to do, while chocolate is a very valuable grand prize. You don't want your child to think that way, especially if the reward is unhealthy food. Change your sentence to, "Let's finish lunch first, and then eat chocolate." Even though it may seem trivial, this change in sentence will have a more positive effect on the child.
10. "Here mother / father help"
Okay, this one's not unhappy with kids, it's just that timing it must be precise. When your child is trying to build a block tower or solve a puzzle, it is only natural that you will want to help him. But don't offer to help too quickly, because this can make him not independent because he is always looking for help or answers from other people. Instead, you ask questions that guide him to solve his problem: "Which pieces should be stored below? Big or small?"
READ TOO:
- What Happens If Your Child Often Eats Instant Noodles
- This is the Meaning of Raising a Child with an Introverted Personality
- Why Sausages and Nugget Are Not Healthy Food for Children
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