Overcoming a broken heart, how long will it take?

Heartbreak is a complex thing. There is hope that is dashed, there is a heart that hurts, or there are questions that are not answered. That's why overcoming a broken heart is not trivial.

You must have heard thousands of times "time heals all wounds". Was it just a spell or did time play an important role in wound healing?

Heartbreak is a complex psychological injury. The pain is a collection of loss and grief. It can affect the health of the body in many ways.

"Insomnia, disruption of the mind, impaired immune system, and 40 percent experience clinical depression," said Guy Winch, an American psychologist, in a speech at TED talks entitled How to Fix a Broken Heart.

Winch emphasized that this is why healing a broken heart is not a matter of time, nor is it a journey. "Overcoming heartbreak is about struggling," says Winch.

Broken heart conditions and how to deal with the pain

For some people, heartbreak feels like the world is coming to an end. Crying, having no appetite, unable to sleep, wondering if I could go on without it.

The experience of breaking one's heart tends to be considered simple. It is not uncommon for us to hear the words "don't be too lazy, look for another one just ". In fact, the size of grief for each person with a broken heart is different, making the way to deal with and make peace with it.

American psychologist Jenna Palumbo speaks of grief about a complicated heartbreak.

“Breaking up, losing a loved one, losing a job, changing careers, losing close friends, all of these can leave you heartbroken and feel like your world will never be the same again,” explains Jenna.

He added that even the heartbreak caused by a breakup with a lover can be more complicated.

A broken heart is a complex psychological injury and has an impact on physical health

Guy Winch makes several points from the complex process of grieving someone who is heartbroken. First , the relationship has ended but the brain refuses to acknowledge it such as craving his voice, reading old messages, and seeing photos of happy moments.

According to Winch, the brain processes the desire to see these sweet memories in the same way that a drug addict attracts drug addicts. The addiction takes longer to overcome a broken heart.

"While addicts have to fight the urge to take drugs, those who are heartbroken should try to think rationally," Winch said.

Second, understanding why the relationship ended is very important in building capacity move on . The problem is, it is often the brain that simply explains why couples choose to break up.

"Heartbreak makes pain seem so dramatic that the brain demands the same dramatic reason," explains Winch.

Third, When you have a broken heart, your body releases cortisol or stress hormones which can also affect your physical health.

Disrupting the immune system, tightness in the chest, abdominal pain, and weakness like not having energy are some of the symptoms that can arise.

How long does it take to overcome a broken heart and when to consult a professional?

According to a study published in Journal of Positive Psychology , 71 percent of young adults take about three months to overcome a broken heart. That is at least to see the positive aspects of their breakup.

It's just that this figure is only the average of a total of 115 samples in the study. Researchers emphasize that everyone has a different pace and way of healing the liver.

Here are some things that might be useful as a remedy for a broken heart.

Deal with heartbreak by giving yourself permission to grieve

The best thing you can do for yourself is give permission to feel all the sadness, anger, loneliness, and guilt. Winch emphasizes that the first step in fixing a problem is understanding that it is normal.

"Jealousy, sadness, anger, are the little things that arise because of the destruction that is happening. "Give yourself time to understand that it's the body's natural response that is temporary and not permanent," says Winch.

Understand why the relationship ended

Understanding why the relationship ended eliminates any hope of reconciliation. False hopes will hinder the healing process.

If you can't accept the reasons given, Winch suggests making up the reasons yourself. Whatever is the most sensible reason you can accept.

Let your closest friends know what you are going through

One way to make your heart feel better is to share your feelings with other people, especially those who have been in the same situation. Feelings of relief will provide a way to overcome a broken heart.

In this case, Winch gives input to the selected friend to listen to his friends who are grieving. Be a kind ear and listen to all the outpouring of his heart. Don't give a lecture until he's finished sharing his grief.

Seek professional help, a psychologist or psychiatrist

It's important to vent by telling other people, but it's no easy feat. If you feel that you can't stand your grief anymore, don't hesitate to seek professional support.

A mental health professional can help you deal with these painful emotions. Especially if the pain has disturbed appetite and sleep time with abnormal levels.

It's natural to compare yourself to others, but overcoming heartbreak and going through grief is not a competition for who's faster move on . Everyone's sadness is not the same and recovery cannot be scheduled.

"Give yourself all the space and time it takes to heal," says Jenna Palumbo.