Recognize 8 signs your child is a victim of bullying at school

Schools are supposed to be second homes for children to take refuge and get an education. But for most children, school has become one of the scariest places in their life. According to a 2015 UNICEF report, 40 percent of Indonesian children experience bullying at school. Meanwhile, according to a report by the ICRW (International Center for Research on Women) also in the same year, almost 84% of children in Indonesia experience violence in schools that is rooted in bullying. Sadly, this violence act can occur without the knowledge of the teacher or other school authorities. In many cases, the victim's child bullying even did not dare to tell anyone about his condition because he was threatened by bullies . As a result, it was difficult for the school to trace this action. If the school cannot detect or take no action on the case bullying, It is your job as a parent to look for signs of bullying that children may experience at school.

Does bullying only happen at school?

Not. Bullying can occur anywhere, from classrooms, toilets, canteens, yards, gates, even outside the school fence. Bullying can also occur when children use public transportation or even through interactions on social media, aka cyberbullying. Bullying at school can be done by classmates, seniors, or even educators. It is also possible that bullying can occur in a family and friends environment at home. Bullying itself can take the form of physical contact, such as hitting, pushing, grabbing, taking things, kicking, locking children in the room, and threatening pocket money. On the other hand, bullying can also be in the form of verbal violence, such as ridiculing, cursing, giving slanderous nicknames, ignoring, isolating, spreading gossip or slander, spreading indecent photos, manipulating friendships (victims are told to do this on the grounds of "friends. ”), To send terror or threats via text messages from cellphones or social media accounts. Bullying can also take the form of sexual harassment, by making derogatory comments or acts of explicit sexual violence.

What are the signs if the child is the victim of bullying?

Being aware of the early signs of being bullied allows parents to get help as quickly as possible. This is because the impact of bullying at school can make a permanent mark on the personality and physical health of children until they grow up. Studies conducted in Europe, Asia, and America even report that child victims of bullying are up to 2.5 times more likely to commit suicide when compared to children who have never experienced bullying at school.

As a parent, it's a good idea to recognize the signs or symptoms that bullies usually show, either directly or indirectly. Here are some warning signs to look out for:

Difficulty sleeping (insomnia)
Difficulty concentrating in class or any activity
Often makes excuses for skipping school (usually marked by starting to make up symptoms of the disease, such as dizziness, upset stomach, etc.).
Suddenly withdrawing from previous favorite activities, such as soccer extracurricular activities or playing after school
Sees restless, lethargic, gloomy, constantly discouraged, loses confidence, worries easily, closes himself off from those around him
Often complains of losing items or their items are damaged. For example books, clothes, shoes, electronic goods, or accessories (watches, bracelets, etc.).
Decreased grades in school, reluctant to do homework or other school assignments, don't want to go to school, and so on
Sudden bruises arise on the face, hands, back for no reason. Can also experience injuries to teeth and other body parts. But your child may argue that he fell off the stairs or was sucked in at school.

But there is really no easy way to really know if your child is the victim of bullying at school. Many of the signs and symptoms shown by child victims of bullying are similar to typical adolescent behavior in general. There are also many signs and symptoms of bullying that are similar to pre-existing mental health problems, such as depression or anxiety disorders. Bullying itself can trigger the emergence of these two mental illnesses.

It is important to pay attention if any of the above signs and symptoms are occurring at the same time, if they occur suddenly, and if the behavior is extreme. This may be the time for you to step in and report your suspicions to the authorities at the school.

We need to abandon the perception that bullying is harmless and is a natural part of the child's development process. Bullying and abuse should be considered as another form of toxic stress which has a huge potential effect on a person's mental and physical health.

How to ask a child if she is a victim of bullying at school

If you suspect a change in the child's attitude and behavior related to the symptoms of the bullying victim as above, don't be afraid to come directly and ask soft but sure questions to your teenager, such as "What's the problem, kid at school?" or "Have you been bullied by friends at school?". You as a parent must be more active to lure children to vent because many victims of bullying hide their suffering at school from their parents.

While no parent wants to hear "yes" to questions like these, it's worth preparing for it. Decide in advance how you would respond to a "yes" answer. Make sure you convince your child that you will take care of him, and that you only want the best for his life.

Of course not every teenager will automatically admit to abuse he or she has received at school, and "no" can also mean your child needs help with certain mental health issues. That's why experts highly recommend that you consider getting a professional assessment of your child's condition with a pediatrician or psychologist to find out what really happened.

In the case of a child victim of bullying, don't be afraid to make mistakes for the sake of vigilance. Working with professional people to help your teenager is the best way to ensure that he has a healthy future.

If you suspect your child or family relative is experiencing bullying, report it to 021-57903020 or 5703303, the KEMENDIKBUD Bullying Complaint hotline at 0811-976-929, via e-mail to, or access the website http: //ult.kemdikbud.go.id /