Table of contents:
- Why am I still single?
- 1. Look back
- 2. Reconsider your attitude so far
- 3. Are you ready to have a relationship with other people?
- 4. Think about your future
"Why am I still single?" You may have wondered this to yourself. Singles status seems to make most people insecure. In the Big Indonesian Dictionary (KBBI) single comes from the word single, which means a man or woman who does not have a life partner. If you keep wondering why it's so hard to find a boyfriend, try introspection first to find the answer.
Why am I still single?
Don't just wonder why you find it hard to find a girlfriend or have a hard time staying in a relationship for a long time. Better to do the following steps for self reflection.
1. Look back
Try turning your memory back some time ago when you were still having a partner. Then answer this question honestly:
- How many ex-lovers did you have and how long did the relationship last?
- What usually causes you and your ex-boyfriend to separate?
- What's the happiest thing you've ever had in a relationship?
Of all these questions, try to look back and find out how your past relationship went. What kind of person do you usually date. It could be that you find it difficult to find a boyfriend because in your social environment there is no partner that you desire.
In addition, you may still feel at home on your own because your past breakups still leave you with pain that you can't get rid of. So you are kind of stuck with the trauma of the past that is still shackling.
By trying to judge yourself from the relationships you have had in the past, you will slowly start repaying the answer, "Why am I still single, huh?".
2. Reconsider your attitude so far
In addition to assessing your past relationships, you also need to look deep inside how you behaved when you were dating. Try to remember, were you more demanding and blaming than listening to your partner?
If you have trouble judging yourself, try asking your best friend. Then, think back to what your partner has been complaining about during your relationship. Are you selfish, never a good listener, or maybe unfaithful.
If the assessment of the person closest to you is the same as the one your partner complained about in the past, then that's probably what makes you still single.
3. Are you ready to have a relationship with other people?
Sometimes, the answer to the question, "Why am I still single?" can surprise you. The answer could be because you really want to be alone, don't want to find a partner. This may be because you are still tired of previous relationships or are not ready to commit. Think again, have you always been in a happy relationship or did you force yourself to look happy?
Then try to remember again, are you comfortable being yourself every time you date? Maybe when you're dating, suddenly you turn into a possessive person and get jealous easily. Even though usually with friends or family you are quite ignorant.
4. Think about your future
What's wrong with being single? Quoted from Psychology Today, people who choose to live alone have more and greater opportunities to pursue their dreams and dreams. Then, think again, what makes you sad when you are single?
At most, you just feel jealous because you see your closest friends are always accompanying your date, while you always spend time with friends or alone.
Don't just lament over the fate of being lonely. Better to expand your social sphere so you can get acquainted with the potential boyfriend you really want. Also, focus on improving yourself rather than continuing to expect things that are uncertain.
