Why does love upset us? & bull; hello healthy

Nothing is happier than when you fall in love. Just thinking for a moment that you've finally found the soulful soul you have been dreaming of, can be so thrilling. You feel very happy as if you are floating in the seventh heaven. But at the same time, your new love can drain your energy, focus, and time to the point where everything else that happens in your life feels like a distraction between you and your boyfriend. You can't stop thinking about your lover. You wake up and go to bed obsessed about this relationship and what your future will look like with it.

Being in love can make you feel like you're having an anxiety attack. Suddenly you complain of frequent dizziness, difficulty focusing, losing weight, not being able to sleep well for days, feeling upset, heartburn like being invaded by thousands of butterflies.

Ever wondered why love can occupy you with both happiness and sadness at the same time? This is the reason.

Love is not only about feelings, but also about the influence of hormones

Reporting from Today, a joint research team from Leiden University and the University of Maryland suggests that people who fall in love may have difficulty performing common cognitive tasks (such as multitasking and problem solving) because they spend most of their mental energy thinking about their soulmate.

When you fall in love, you are under the influence of hormones that cause you to experience three waves of emotions at once: euphoria, threat, and exhaustion. Reporting from Psychology Today, a research team from the University of Pisa found that in the early stages of a romantic relationship, the activity of the nerve transmitters adrenaline, dopamine, oxytocin, norepineprine, and phenylethylamine (PEA - a natural amphetamine also found in chocolate and marijuana) is mixed and increases. when two people are attracted to each other, that puts the emotional aspect of themselves into a rush.

Uniquely, during this euphoric phase, the relaxing effect you get from the "good mood" hormone serotonin will decrease, replaced by obsession with your partner and consistently recalling previous romantic memories that you spent with him. This PEA also has a share in making your heart flutter until you feel gasping, trembling, and the very desire to unite with your lover.

The changes that happen to you when you fall in love

While beautiful, this euphoric phase can be overwhelming. You are adding romantic relationships to your normal routine that is enough to keep you busy. Responsibilities at home and work at work or school are now slowly being sidelined, overpowered by your subconscious need to devote all your energies to strengthening your romantic relationship. This can make you more nervous and anxious than usual.

In addition, loving someone also "forces" you to let your guard down and open up more - enabling you to suspend all criticism and doubts about them - so that you can reconcile your needs and desires with theirs. This process can threaten your very existence and make you feel insecure. This fear is very palpable. It takes extra time and effort for both parties to start trusting former strangers and build a stronger relationship for both of you.

Many are at risk in building a romantic relationship. You may unconsciously create emotional problems and drama to air your worries and bring them to the surface.

With all the hormonal changes and fear raging through you, it's no wonder you may feel exhausted in the early stages of your romance.

Brain activity that occurs when in love

Romantic relationships are addictive. This can be evidenced by the biochemical changes that occur in someone who falls in love with those with obsessive compulsive disorder, including difficulty sleeping and loss of appetite. The fantasy about the idol of the heart fills our days fills our night dreams; apart, we feel incomplete. This "emptiness" of the heart will also lead to obsessions and constant chatter about objects of your affection that are far from grasping.

The reason for this is quite simple, but a little surprising: people who are in love have a lot in common with cocaine addicts. MRI scans revealed that the brain's nucleus accumbens were similarly seen to activate actively in those who are in love and in cocaine addicts and gamblers, when they are on a high.

Breaking up is similar to 'sakau'

The feeling of cravings associated with romantic love is a real phenomenon. Reporting from The Star, biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, stated that seen through brain scans of 17 people who had recently been dumped by their partners, detected activity in the brain system - the ventral tegmental of the midbrain - associated with feelings of deep romantic love for that person. So, when you are dumped by your idol, you still continue to love him. He also found activity in an area of ​​the brain - the orbitofrontal cortex - part of the dopamine hormone system associated with cravings and attachment. So, even though they have dumped you, you will still feel a deep attachment to them. Finally, we also found brain activity associated with anxiety that goes hand in hand with rejection but is also associated with physical pain and emotional stress.

Therefore, people who are heartbroken also feel what is called confusion. Longing, sadness, anger, shame, or guilt are all emotions that can follow a happy romantic relationship. Addictions mask the pain of a love-and-hate relationship or from a loss of happiness, and they hide this longing desire to be able to experience a state of happiness once again.

At first, they will be in the denial stage - refusing that their love story has ended and refusing to admit the end of the relationship. In the protest stage, they will usually try to reclaim the idol's heart. They will flirt, make promises, ask to meet and discuss how to maintain the relationship, to confront a third party who 'stole' their partner. If all these "reverse" attempts are unsuccessful, they will eventually slip into misery. Anyone who has experienced the end of a relationship knows that breaking up can cause anxiety, irritability, anger, and feelings of hopelessness or helplessness. They shut themselves up, lie in bed and cry non-stop, and don't go to school / work - all of these show symptoms of depression.

Love can also trigger depression if…

Reporting from Healthline, research shows that those who have rigid attitudes about the importance of romantic love - "I will no longer find someone else as good as him", "my life is ruined without him", or "this breakup is my fault" - are them. a more range for developing clinical depression. Negative feelings alone are not sufficient to cause clinical mood disorders, but the combination of cognitive susceptibility and mild depression can plunge a person into a deep depression.

How a person internalizes the confusion caused by love will greatly determine whether he can survive through life's trials or whether he needs help from outside. Fisher found that in the brains of those who were dumped, the regions associated with cravings and attachments dimmed over time. So, time does heal. You can start feeling better, more independent and less obsessed with your ex, and start socializing the way you were before.