Tantrums in children: know the causes and how to deal with them

Tantrums are the most common problem in children under five. It is not uncommon for parents to find it difficult to cope with and deal with children who are tantrums, especially in public. The following is an explanation of tantrums in children, starting from the definition, the causes, to how to overcome them.

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What is a tantrum?

Tantrums are emotional outbursts, which are usually characterized by a child's stubbornness, crying, screaming, yelling, defiance, or anger.

When children are tantrums, you may become frustrated and confused about them.

Tantrums are part of normal child development because they are trying to show that they are upset.

Generally, tantrums will occur in the second year of a child's life, when early childhood language development begins to develop.

This is because toddlers are not yet able to say what they want, feel, or need. However, children's tantrums tend to decrease as language skills improve.

What are the signs of tantrums in children who are over the limit?

Tantrums are actually a normal condition in children, and can even be considered as part of the development process.

However, parents need to know the signs of tantrums in children who have exceeded the limit. Here are the signs:

• Has a frequent tantrum
• Raged for a long time
• When throwing a tantrum, make physical contact with other people
• Get angry until you hurt yourself

The signs above can be a risk of emotional upset in children. Therefore, if it is considered excessive, you can consult a doctor.

What causes tantrums in children?

This term is used when a child cries, whines, screams, kicks, or hits. This condition usually occurs in toddlers aged 1 to 3 years.

Children with tantrums are generally irritated, angry, and frustrated. It can also appear because the child feels tired, hungry, and uncomfortable.

This aggressive action occurs because children find it difficult to express what they want and need.

However, you don't need to worry about this. As you get older, your child's language skills will increase.

In addition, children are also better able to control their emotions as one of the stages of early childhood emotional social development.

How do you deal with a tantrum child?

This situation can happen at any time, from in public to while eating.

How to deal with and deal with tantrum children also depends on the condition of the little one. The following is the full explanation.

Overcoming tantrums in children while in public

Children with tantrums in public are the most common and often make parents panic for fear of disturbing others. Here's how to fix it:

Hug him

Children who are tantrums in public places often make parents emotional.

But when you see a child throwing a tantrum, a hug is the first thing you can do to dampen it.

Hugs can make children feel safe and know that their parents care, even if you don't agree with their behavior.

Give him a firm firm hug, not a sweet hug to put him to sleep. Avoid saying anything while you hold your little one.

Diane Ryals, a family educator at the University of Illinois explains that tantrums become a big problem when parents give up too quickly or too often.

"The reason is, this method is a shortcut to get what he wants. That way, tantrums are the way they are often done, ”he explained, quoted from the Stella Maris School of Future Entrepreneur.

Preparing all the needs of children

Keep in mind that children and toddlers are more likely to vent when they are hungry or tired.

For example, if you are going to go grocery shopping monthly, make sure that your little one leaves full and well-rested.

During shopping, it's a good idea to bring "weapons" to keep children busy themselves.

Some items that can be brought are ranging from children's snacks to favorite toys.

These things look trivial, but they can be powerful help in an emergency.

Create ground rules for children

Parents need to establish ground rules when traveling to reduce the risk of tantrums.

Before you reach your destination, you can explain to your little one that the purpose of going to the mall is only to buy food, not ice cream or new toys.

Unfulfilled desires are the cause of children like tantrums.

If you know the mall you are going to have a candy store or your little one's favorite toy, be sure to take the time to visit that place.

In addition, you can also think twice about going there.

Thinking about the possible reactions, consequences, and alternatives does not mean that you are giving up. This means, you are being a wise parent.

Overcoming tantrums while eating

Child tantrums can occur at any time, including when your little one is eating. Here's how to fix it:

Let the children explore their food

Sometimes a child's anger that comes at mealtime is caused by curiosity about the food he is eating.

Of course, you can feed him when the texture of the child's food makes it impossible for him to eat alone.

This type of food is for example porridge or other crushed food with a liquid texture.

However, it doesn't hurt to try to give him a child's hand-sized solid food so that it can be held on its own (finger foods).

Besides being able to please children, food finger foods also plays a role in improving the motor development of early childhood.

Children also become familiar with various forms of daily food. That way, don't forbid your little one to eat alone if he really wants to.

You just have to keep an eye on him so he doesn't choke.

Turn your attention to something else

Even though it seems that you are in a quite difficult situation if your child is tantrums at eating, as much as possible try to divert his attention to other things that are more interesting.

You can give him a favorite toy, talk to him about a fun experience he has had, or tell him about a child's favorite fairy tale.

In essence, do various interesting things that can at least reduce or even stop the tantrum when eating.

Remind children about the rules when eating

The habit of tantrums in children that is continuously allowed can make him always rely on tantrums, anger, and crying as tricks to get what he wants.

As parents, always try to be assertive in order to educate children to understand various rules in everyday life.

From an early age, start introducing children to the good and bad things they can and shouldn't do.

Including the time of eating, such as eating, having to sit down, chew the food until it is smooth, do not eat it, and so on.

How can you prevent children from tantrums in public?

Here are some ways you can prevent tantrum children in public:

Prepare toys or other objects

According to the National Association of School Psychologists, tantrums in children tend to occur when they face a change in activity from what they normally do.

For example, a child who usually plays during the day, on that day actually comes with you to visit a place. This condition can later trigger tantrums in children.

This change in routine is likely to cause boredom in your little one.

He who hopes to play with his friends as usual, must be in an unfamiliar place and face the crowd.

To prevent your little one from tantrums because of boredom, prepare toys, reading books, or snacks.

Take time to rest

Another way to prevent tantrums in public is to make time for breaks.

Being outside the house and dealing with many people, might make your little one tired.

Before he tantrums due to fatigue, make sure the child has time to rest. While outside the house, your little one can rest in your arms.

To be sure, you can ask him, “You're tired not ? You want me to carry it ? ". Or you can put it to sleep on the stroller.

You can also recognize your child is tired or not by looking at the activity of your little one.

If he starts to look inactive here and there, asks lots of questions, and tends to be more silent, this could be a sign that your little one is getting tired and needs rest.

Tell children what transitions to do while outside

When you invite your little one to go to a new place, you may feel bored. Especially in places that do not make it free to move.

He may be nagging you to come home right away. To prevent your child from getting tantrums in public, tell him what activities to do next.

You can say, “After this, we are looking for shoes for you, OK. Keep going home .”

This can give your little one the understanding that he won't be stuck in that place for a long time.

Are there any benefits of tantrums for children and parents?

Even though dealing with a tantrum child is very tiring, there are actually benefits. Here are some important reasons why tantrums are actually a good thing.

Helping your child learn

Children with tantrums are struggling and expressing their frustrations.

This will help them to control themselves so that they can learn something new such as learning to cooperate, communicate, and deal with negative emotions.

Over time, children will understand that tantrums are not the right way to attract parental attention or to force their own will.

Bring children and parents closer

When children are tantrums, let them pass through the turmoil of their feelings.

Tantrums are part of the child's learning process to learn what vocabulary makes their needs met and which ones are not.

When your child is tantrums, you need to stay calm, don't talk too much, and offer a few reassuring words and a warm hug.

That way, your child will learn to accept your decisions and feel closer to you afterward.

Children learn about behavioral boundaries

Children can use tantrums as a weapon to get what they want.

However, by being assertive, he will learn that there are behavioral constraints (or demands) that he has to follow.

By being firm, he will not go on a rampage for a long time, so he will become his main weapon when he is upset.

When to call the doctor

Tantrums are behaviors that generally stop on their own as the child develops.

However, if your child experiences any of the following, you need to consult a doctor immediately.

• Parents often feel angry or lose control when dealing with children who are tantrums.
• Relationships with children are not harmonious or tenuous.
• The tantrums become more frequent, intense, or last longer.
• Your child often hurts himself or others.
• Your child seems very unpleasant, demanding, and almost never cooperative.

You can contact the doctor if the child experiences the above.