5 Ways to control emotions against your partner & bull; hello healthy

Starting with someone is a sign that you must be ready to accept each other's strengths and weaknesses. However, it is not uncommon for someone to get angry easily and disappointed in their partner's attitude. Then, what is the cause, and how do you control your emotions towards your partner?

Why is there someone who is irritable and emotional in their partner?

According to an article published on PsychCentral, in relationships, emotions often come as a reaction to not getting what you want or expect from your partner. This can be anything, be it physical, emotional, or something else.

However, the build-up of feelings of anger and emotions until they finally peak usually begins with them denial or refuse to acknowledge the facts that occur in the relationship.

For example, you may refuse to admit that what your partner did to upset you, so you let the feelings of disappointment remain with you for a long time. By doing so, you refuse to face your feelings and acknowledge your needs from your partner.

This is usually done with the hope that, without saying it, your partner will understand how you feel. You wish your partner were more sensitive to the feelings you have, when you don't want to admit them yourself.

So, gradually these feelings of disappointment accumulate to the point that you can no longer stand it while what your partner knows is that you are fine.

This is what triggers you to become irritable and unable to control your emotions towards your partner because the pent up resentment has dragged on. However, did you know that it can be overcome if you know how to use tips and tricks to control emotions for your partner?

5 tips for controlling emotions towards your partner

Controlling emotions towards your partner means that you and your partner can share the feelings you have for your partner, both feelings of happiness and pleasure or feelings of sadness and disappointment. To do this, you can follow the following tips for controlling emotions in your partner.

1. Accept and understand your feelings

Before conveying your feelings for your partner, you must first understand how you feel. Is it true that the feelings of disappointment you have come from your partner? Or do these feelings arise from the expectations you have for your partner?

Instead of getting angry, you should try to control your emotions towards your partner by talking about how you feel. Find the right time to talk about it. It is most comfortable to talk about it when you and your partner are in a good mood.

Openly discuss with your partner the feelings you have. Say it straightforwardly without cornering and with a condition in which you want to find a solution to the negative feelings you have for your partner.

By controlling yourself and discussing it together with your partner, you may find a "middle ground" of the feelings you have without the need for emotion towards your partner.

2. Use good language

Convey your feelings straightforwardly, but in language that is good and easy to hear. One of the ways you can control your emotions towards your partner is not to use sentences that corner or accuse your partner.

For example, if you feel disappointed or upset with something your partner did. Share these feelings by showing that you are upset about them, not your partner. Tell them that if this didn't happen, you would feel much better.

This makes it easier for your partner to understand what makes you happy and what upsets you. This is one way of controlling your emotions towards your partner because this way you are also trying to communicate how you are feeling.

3. Give a time lag

When you start to feel annoyed, give yourself some time before expressing how you feel about your partner. This is very helpful in controlling the emotions you feel towards your partner. Avoid speaking when your heart is "hot" on fire.

Why should this be avoided? Because when you are angry, you might say harsh words or mean words that you really don't want to say. Therefore, instead of you regretting the words that have already come out of your mouth, you should give a pause, take a deep breath, and clear your mind first.

4. Listen to your partner well

Not only conveying what you feel, in discussions to control emotions and anger towards your partner, you also have to listen to what your partner has to say.

When listening, you have to try to digest well what he said, and also understand what he felt. Avoid finding fault with what your partner has to say, because the relationship is not only centered on you, but also on your partner. So, it would be better if there was two-way communication in it.

5. Maintain a physical relationship with your partner

One effective way to control emotions with a partner can also be done by being physically connected. If you are angry or upset, try to hug him or touch him, as this may help to defuse the anger you have.

This also applies to sexual activity together with a partner. Generally, men feel that sexual relations are a form of solving their problems. So that men can relieve their anger by having sexual intercourse with a partner.

Although this does not always have the same effect on women, it is one of the things that can help reduce anger and emotions that occur in a relationship.