Table of contents:
- Understand the meaning of trust
- The cause of trust can be lost
- How to restore lost trust
- 1. Be honest and open
- 2. Plan a time to apologize
- 3. Appreciate the partner's time to think
- 4. Shows behavior in accordance with the words
In a loving relationship, trust is one of the important elements that make a relationship stronger and healthier. Therefore, when these elements are damaged by an affair or broken promises, it will be difficult to rebuild. How do you restore the lost trust so that the relationship returns to normal? Find the answer in the following review.
Understand the meaning of trust
Everyone has their own definition of trust, especially in a relationship. In a romantic relationship, trust can mean:
- Commit to a partner.
- Feel safe with your partner and respect the physical and emotional boundaries that you create.
- Support each other.
- Have good communication because you and your partner know when to talk and listen.
Even so, there are also those who agree that trust does not mean that you are obliged to provide information regarding personal access, such as:
- Cell phone
- Social media account password
- Personal bank account
These three are your personal domains, so it is your choice whether you want to share them at any time if needed.
The cause of trust can be lost
Because trust is one of the important elements that strengthen relationships, when it is lost, it will certainly be bad for you and your partner. There are several things that might make that trust disappear in an instant, such as:
- Often break promises
- Cannot accompany a partner when needed
- Hiding something important
- Lying or manipulating
- Don't share feelings openly
- Having an affair
The reasons above are just a few of the many causes that can lose trust in a relationship. If allowed to drag on, it will certainly make the relationship between you and your partner strained, until it runs aground.
How to restore lost trust
While there isn't really a good way to build trust, the five strategies below may help you fix the mistakes you've made and that your partner can reconsider giving their trust.
1. Be honest and open
When you have lost your trust through lying, it may be very difficult to tell the truth because your partner may not believe it anymore. Even so, still be honest and open.
First of all, you must first understand why you are doing this so that you can position yourself as your partner.
If they ask, answer honestly, don't give a circular answer or choose to answer “don't know”. Pretending not to know will only take away your chances of correcting the mistake.
Even though it may be hard to say it, remember again that this is the perfect opportunity to improve your relationship.
2. Plan a time to apologize
Almost all agree that saying sorry from the heart is quite difficult to do. According to a psychologist from Good Therapy , Angela Bisignano, PhD, apologizing can lead to feelings of excessive anxiety and fear.
Therefore, preparing to apologize is the right way to restore your partner's trust.
There are some tips that might help you say sorry and explain it without making things worse, such as:
- Gather your thoughts first by writing them down.
- Listen to what you have to say to your partner in the mirror.
- Commit to avoiding the same mistakes and listening to your partner's answers carefully.
3. Appreciate the partner's time to think
After you apologize, there may be times when your partner needs time to think about whether to forgive you and rebuild that trust.
Try not to pressure your partner to quickly provide an answer before they are ready. However they also need time to think about everything that has happened.
4. Shows behavior in accordance with the words
Apologies are important, but they are even more important if they are followed by the behavior you are saying. Your sincere words may sound nonsense if they don't show change to your partner.
Once the apology has been accepted, try to be more committed to bringing out the best in yourself in your partner. For example, by becoming more appreciative, loyal, and trustworthy so as to show seriousness in restoring the partner's trust in the relationship.
Basically, how to restore trust in a relationship will take a long time and may run into some hurdles. However, if you really want this relationship to last, be patient and rebuild the relationship even from the beginning.
