Good girl syndrome, the reason good people are hard to be happy

What is that good girl syndrome ?

During your childhood, were you advised to be a good boy? Parents usually have the same expectations of their children, namely always being obedient, disciplined, and putting others first and not being selfish.

The hope that children become good figures sometimes also comes from teachers and the environment. Wherever they are, these children will always be asked to be polite, care about others, and have respect.

There is nothing wrong with this. Parents basically want their children to be good people who are accepted in society. According to them, the right way to achieve this goal is to try to make other people happy.

A positive attitude that is instilled since childhood is indeed a good quality of the self. However, problems arise when one's self-worth depends entirely on the happiness of others. This is the forerunner of good girl syndrome .

You will continue to harbor your own emotions and desires in order to make other people happy. You are also so influenced by other people's comments that you ignore your own opinions. You may also find it difficult to say no to other people.

Even if you are happy when you make other people happy, you can't do this forever. If you keep on giving without ever getting what you want, you will gradually feel bored and tired.

Characteristic features good girl syndrome

People who experience good girl syndrome usually afraid of disappointing others. They tend to obey and are more silent because they worry that their opinion will hurt others.

Those are just a few examples of characteristics good girl syndrome . The very strong cultivation of values since childhood sometimes makes people unaware that they are living to meet the expectations of others around them.

Here are other traits that indicate that you are experiencing good girl syndrome .

Always afraid of annoying or upsetting other people.
Perfectionist and always demanded to excel.
Be proud of yourself when you can help others even if you feel uncomfortable.
It's hard to say no and say what you want.
Too tied to existing schedules and routines.
Avoiding conflicts because you feel uncomfortable with them.
Obey the rules down to the smallest detail.
Anxious when faced with unpredictable changes.

Negative impact good girl syndrome

Good girl syndrome is a barrier to many of the things you dream about. The reason is, you are worried that your decisions, words, or actions will disappoint others. These are behaviors that make it difficult for you to thrive.

The role of a good boy feels comfortable. It is as if you are protected from all conflict, rejection, and hurtful criticism. This is especially true because the more you indulge in other people's wishes, the less likely you are to come into conflict with them.

However, all of that eventually turned into demands. You continue to live up to other people's expectations without ever fulfilling your own desires. You don't get up and talk when you are being treated unfairly or when you have different views.

You try to make things good and peaceful, but you sacrifice yourself to achieve this. You end up living in fear of being rejected and judged by others. In fact, you are more valuable than that.

Letting go of the demands of being a good person

Good girl syndrome is a complex condition, especially if you've been in it for years. However, it is never too late to break free from his entanglement.

Here are some tips you can do to fix it.

Say clearly what you want.
Practice saying no when you really can't help it.
Have the determination and stick to the principles you have.
Don't be quiet when other people don't respect you.
Treat others the way you want to be treated.
Start learning to make peace with yourself.

Unless you're forced to change for someone else, it's great to be a good person. Instead of giving you happiness, this attitude will actually make you experience it burnout .

Therefore, now is the time for you to express what you want to the world. Of course it's not easy to change the way of thinking that has been ingrained for years, but that doesn't mean it's impossible.